Question:
i always surf soompi using my friend's account but i dont wanna mess up her reputation here coz of this so i finally made my own...
my problem is that my brother killed himself 2 months ago. today's his death anniv. my parents are a wreck. they blame themselves for not seeing how out of it my brother was. but me, i just hate him for doing this to us. and i hate myself more for hating him.
why did he kill himself?...
he and this girl were childhood friends. one day he found out that the girl was being raped by her uncle (cousin of father) and he wanted to confront the uncle but the girl begged him and begged him not to. he kept quiet bout it but one afternoon he saw the girl crying and found out that she had just been raped again like 5 hours ago. my brother got so mad but the girl kept begging him not to tell and he just blurted out, why?! coz you like it, dont you?! and he stormed out. later that night her mom (were family friends) called my mom. the girl's mom was panicing coz she just found the girl in the bathroom. she hanged herself. my mom told us. my brother was just so quiet after that and i thought he was just sad coz they were really close you know? two days later, he killed himself. his suicide note went like this:
im sorry for doing this but i cant live with myself. (and he went on explaining about the girl and the whole story i just wrote above). then he inserted the girl's own suicide note (we thought she didn't live one but he went to their park bench where they always live notes and stuffs under one of the legs of the bench and saw that she did left one there)...and the note was like: no, i dont. but i dont want him to make good on his promise that he will kill the one person that matters most to me. i cant let him kill you. im sorry but i cant run from this. this is the only way.
i just hate myself so much coz i cant seem to forgive him for what he did. he never thought of my parents. my mom is always staying in bed and my dad is starting to drink (and he never drinked before)... he says he killed my brother coz it was his gun. i just can't forgive my brother for putting my parents through this... and i hate myself for being so bad...
Answer:
I'm truly sorry for your loss. I'm truly sorry for the situation you're in.
I have never been in any situation remotely close to this, so I do not know what could help you.
But at this time it just seems as if you need time to relax.
When he killed himself he did it probably because he viewed himself weak for not stopping this rape which in turn caused to his friend's suicide. He finds himself responsbile for his friend's death. He felt that he failed as a friend.
I'm truly sorry for your loss, and I hope both you and your family can get through this tragic moment.
May god bless you.
Answer:
I really hate when things like this happens. I'm really sorry for you, I'll make sure to pray for your family!
You shouldn't hate yourself for what your brother did, it was your brother's decision even if it wasn't a good one.
And the uncle of that girl, did you call the police?? I mean HE is the one who really killed your brother and his gf.
He made the girl depressed causing your brother to do the same. He really should be arrested.
Anyway I hope you and your family get through this.
Answer:
hey don't get depressed. u and ur family can get thru this! ill pray 4 u =] remember that ur brother and that grl were such great friends- and that friendship is never gonna die. don't blame this on u- don't stick urself in the past- it won't HELP AT ALL. trust me. i know. just focus on ur family now. talk w/ them. try to bring them up and continue life again =]
Answer:
im so sorry. live strong and keep fighting.
Answer:
Sometimes in life we take things for granted, the things we take for granted we know that it will always be there for us in the future. I am deeply sorry for your lost. You should not blame your brother. These are the times for grieving, not placing blame. You need to help your parents out any way possible. From the state that they are in, more than likely depression is nearing or has already taken shape. Please dont blame your brother for what you saw as an inconsiderate act, he could not live with the fact that all this time he couldve done something, but he didnt out of his promise to his friend. With his friend committing suicide, he felt as though the blood was on his hands because he felt as though if he wouldve done something, then his friend would have still been alive.
He will always live in you and your parent's memory.
Answer:
i'm really sorry to hear that
don't hate your brother...that's not how he would want you to remember him. what's done is done..you can't turn back time and tell him not to do it. there's no use in staying angry. yes, what he did was not the right thing to do, but the only thing you can do is remember him for the good things, not the bad. he had a lot to go through in his final days, and you should try to understand that.
and about your family, just stick through..things will get better. even when things look bad, it will get better. my best friend died suddenly two years ago of a heart problem and left behind his parents and a little sister. the parents blamed eachother and got divorced, which was really hard on the girl. but later they made up for the sake of the only child they had left. things will get better!
don't beat yourself up too much about it. i think i would be angry if my sibling did that too..your feelings are totally valid, but try to see past it and look to the future, not the past
Answer:
oh geez... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tears.gif) i'll pray for you and your family. i hope the uncle was thrown in prison! b*stard.
Answer:
first of all, sorry for ur loss cuz it's really tragic...
i think both u and ur parents need sometime for grieve. i dont know how old u r, but maybe it's better to comfort ur parents first cuz they might think it's their fault that ur brother killed himself and they must be heartbroken right now. plus it's very hard for old ppl to face these big traumas like this... so look after them. (ps. the suicide rate among elderly is the 2nd highest after teenagers...)
as to u, please recognize that he probably didnt think this through, and it was a rash decision... maybe it's out of guilt, maybe it's out of pain, who knows, but he definitely didnt think it through. u r right in not forgiving him cuz no one's asking u to accept it so soon and in my opinion, it is his fault for not considering all sides, etc. but there's nothing to do now, cuz it's all over and he's gone, and that's just gonna be the way it is.
u mentioned that u r angry at him... anger is a secondary emotion. it usually (well, actually most of the time) originates from primary emotions like fear and sadness... so yeah, take a closer look at ur anger.... is it really anger or something else.
there's no reason to ruminate over this cuz it will only hurt u even more. it's probably still hard to believe right now, but it will sink in eventually, and time will pass and u will grow and accept it. u can also read some books about surviving suicide or something, they will help for sure.
just take care... life's only for the courageous ^-^
Answer:
wow my heart truly goes out to you.
for a situation as serious as this... you really should deal with a counselor.. i know for now you think that it won't do anything to help you or your famiy immediately, but in the long run it will make a difference. i really hope you and your family get through this and in good health. =)
Answer:
Wow... I'm truly so sorry for your loss
you shouldn't blame yourself for thinking what you think...it just shows you care about him. but don't hate him for what he did because he must have been under so much burden at the time. its not easy, death is never easy in any way...but i hope you and your parents find a way through it
and i hope that uncle gets what he deserves
Answer:
Ohh woow, Hey, cheer up okay? Im so sorry for your loss. I know it's hard fo deal with it but you have to be strong. For you and your parents. I'll be praying for your family. Your brother is in a good place now3 Dont worry. Please dont hate your brother.. I dont think he wants to hurt you or your family. Reality is something we face everyday and life is unexpected. Keep your head up and everything will be okay. My wishes and prayer goes to you3
Answer:
wow i'm really sorry but i dun think you really hate him..your sadness is confused with anger. o-o i duno if i make sense but i hope your parents get better and that you'll be able to forgive him soonnnn . i think your not use to being sad that you're taking it ilke its anger but its not . you dun hate him.
it was only 2 months ago. your family might never get over this but you guys wil be able to live ooon. i reallllllllyy truly hope things get better for you guys tho its gona take a long time.
take care!
Answer:
Really sorry to hear about this. Keep fighting though.
Answer:
thanks evryone. your prayers will very much help. i just dont know what to do. my family is falling apart and i feel so angry and i dont know why i feel this angry. i always feel like throwing up.
im 16, my brother was 17 and a half. the girl was 17.
the police is still looking for the uncle coz he flew out of the country.......
Answer:
Oh god, I'm sorry your story makes me want to shed tears. Please I beg of you, don't do what your brother and his friend did, please don't. You are only going to make yourself regret it. I think your situation is very sad, and I'm sorry for your loss. If you need some advice or anythign feel free to pm me. Gosh, has soompi always had situatiosn this tragic? Well then again I'm only in middle school, so my experiance is weak, sorry.
Answer:
wow...im so sorry to hear that...cheer up. it's not ur fault. im sure he wouldn't want to see you guys like this. so you have to bring ur parents back to the happy side. be strong ok??
*hugs*
Answer:
damn....i dont know what to say...i hope you and your family can move on.
as for the uncle, really wish hes caught and justice serves that dude right.
feel better
Answer:
Hey...you're in my prayers.
Cheelu
Answer:
I'm speechless. I don't know what you're going through to help you out with it, but I'll pray for you. Keep staying strong and hopefully things will work out for you soon.
