Question:
I have a few questions for you guys and would like some feedback.
I've been going out with my first bf for about 1.5months now. He has had many gf before me so he has a lot of experience and he's aware of how good a relationship could be. We get along really well - we can talk on the phone for hours and hours and really enjoy eachother's company.
Just one problem though.
He told me he feels that I am treating him like a friend instead of a boyfriend. He thinks I don't express my feelings enough and he's starting to worry that I don't like him as much as he does. This is not true because I like him very much. Now, I do agree I'm not a super outgoing person so I don't find it super easy and natural like some people to express feelings. I do admit that, at times, I feel shy to tell him loveydovey things, but nevertheless I try my best to tell him how I feel. I txt him during the day while he's at school/work to tell him I miss him and I always call him cute names like hunnie/hunhun to make him feel special. I compliment him and tell him nice things to show that I care about him. I baked him cookies and bought him gifts. But it seems like this is not enough for him. Do you think I'm not expressing my self enough? :/ what do you guys do/say for your s/o to make them feel special? what else can I do?
It hurts my feelings when he literally says can you say something cute for me???. It sounds as if he's asking me why I fail at being a girl. I just do it sometimes to make him happy even though I don't feel comfortable doing it. But it's just not in my personality to be acting cute and babytalking all the time. Am I the only weird girl who doesn't do this? Feels like he's comparing me what his ex's used to do for him. That hurts =/
Answer:
I think you're doing enough since you do make an effort in trying. I don't know what else he wants since you mention doing all the things I would have suggested. But maybe when you two are out, be the first one to hold his hand. ^^ Tell him you like him more often? Maybe that'll work.
Answer:
be touchy, guys like that.
Answer:
^ Yeah, try being more touchy.
But I don't think it's wierd... maybe he's the girl of the relationship, and he needs some lurrrrrrrrve.
Just hug him, link arms with him, hold his hand whenever you can?
Answer:
i think you've trying your best already.
i know how you feel. because i'm somewhat the same as you, i don't like to express my feelings usually.
take times, you know, you're a newbie, he should try to understand that.
i don't know why your bf has to complain.
he'd be happy that he got you, hehe.
JUST BE YOURSELF!
Answer:
It doesnt hurt to be initiative =P so yah.. like wat they said, go hold is hand first =)
Answer:
your doing a lot, buying him stuff, does he buy you anything? does he call you sweet names? I mean if ur uncomy at doing that stuff then talk to him bout it. In a relationship its great to be honest and to let your s/o know how you feel about certain things.
Answer:
^ Yeah, try being more touchy.
But I don't think it's wierd... maybe he's the girl of the relationship, and he needs some lurrrrrrrrve.
Just hug him, link arms with him, hold his hand whenever you can?
i agree with her also. if you do more like touchy touchy stuff it'll show the guy that your really still interested in him. and he won't feel all out of love anymore. but overall i think you try your best though. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
Answer:
awwww don't be afraid! i mean i understand if ur scared of acting all loveydovey to someone u like, buh he's ur bf. he feels the same way u do
Answer:
do the small things, like hold his hand when you're walking, call him or leave him a text message or voice mail before he goes to sleep.
Peace!
Answer:
I think you're making a lot of effort already.
I agree about being touchy. Linking arms, hugging...It's the only thing I do that would make him feel special.
Telling him you like/love him when you hug him would make him feel real special....I think
Answer:
It does sound like you're doing enough, but I guess he feels just still insecure. (It is like he's the girl of the relationship.. but it's nice to know that he cares, you know? But it does also hurt to have him compare you with his past gfs. :/
Well, the little things matter a lot. Hugging, holding his hand first, sitting on his lap, whispering in his ear, playing with his hands, calling him cute names, etc. Just things that acknowledge your relationship with him. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) You don't necessarily have to make everything look or sound cute. Just do whatever you're comfortable with.
Ooh, you know what else you can do? Buy some sort of couple/matching necklace or jewelry set thing. Then give one to him and keep one for yourself. And wear it everyday, then keep telling him how much you like the necklace. :] I guess you can use it for reassurance purposes.
Answer:
thanks for the replies everyone ^^
Answer:
I don't know
to me (I repeat, to me), it sounds like he's starting exploiting.
If you bought me stuff, that would be too much.
