Question:
*i was married illegally*
(IMG:style_emoticons/default/tears.gif) Im only 15 years old and i just got married to this 19 year old guy.......... i know he loves me but if he does then why does he never spend anytime with me????? is this just how guys are???? alll they care about is what they want and they never give a F**** about their wifey? or am i just in infactuation..... i know that im too young to get married but it wasnt even my wish......i got forced and in the end this is what i get!!!!!!!!!!!!!! somebody tell me is it that im too dumb and i just think i love him??? i do everything for this guy....... i serve him as an servant and get water to him....cook for him and everything else and wat does he show me???? nothing!!! i even do his college homework for him !!!! i even give hime pleasure when he wants so he wont get mad at me and distance from him...... in return i get myself starved and to the point where i am about to faint with no energy left..... i cried so many times...... i beg him so many times.. and why???? why doesnt he at least spend some time with me???? i dunt even cheat on him like he does on me!!!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fury.gif)
what should i do i feel like i dont deserve this and that i should just go back to my mommy and daddy cause they are always willing to take me back but the shame of a girl being married and comming back is horrible... i mean i dont mind but wat will happen to my parents reputation......... and i do truely love this guy with all my heart......... should i leave him or what should i do to make him spend some time with me..... i love him so much...... help......... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tears.gif)
MOst oF tHe sToRy......(7/27/06)
Well here we go …. Let me spill everything that has happened…… We have been dating for a week and we got forced marriage because he took me over night. In my culture that’s just how things are… My father and mother was really disappointed at me especially my father because he was really mad… we got married on March 10 and 11 of 2006… just this year….. I didn’t expect him to be like this at first but I noticed as the days past by…… it got worser and worser…….. I was stupid that I waited for him all the time……. I put my life to the limit for him…… I tried to do everything I could for him and so he would care and at least stay with me….. but I was worng… he is just using me for sex and for his pleasures and comfort and pain…….. I finally realized this……. This is my confusion that I had……… the hardest part to face in my life because its realy hard to believe this……… like the other guy who had molested me in the past 7 years when I was around 8 or 9-10 years old…… those men want one thing and its their way…… I am really sad to realize this……….
Soon afterwards he started to get more and more violent……….. he starting beating me up…….. he slammed me so hard I got bruises all over my body…. I even got choked by him a lot of times… I don’t know why he has strated hitting me… sometimes when hes mad he tell s me that I deserve to be treated that way….. and that I was a i can't read forom the start……. I hate him…..he drinks every single day…… he cant get enough of beer, volleyball , and his time……. Stupid right??? He has this court case problem that he could get in jail for….. but still he doesn’t change……… he doesn’t realize that … and its not like he cares he does but hes ruining his life……. I want to help him but ive tried my best………. Hes just playing with me ……..
But somehow I cant leave him and I cant let go………. I m trying my best right now…….. to leave him…… ive decided that now im going to leave the next time I get beat up by him………. I need more advice…….. is what im doin right???
*he doesnt starve me.....* i am starved because of wat he does i became that way.......
*this is not a joke!!!! im not making this up.......!!! u can ask other hmong people!!!!! gurls are forced to get married.......... and im not kidding most hmong gurls are forced to get married***!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
wait soemoen asked this question but you still havent answered.
what was the reason why you were forced to marry?
did he want to marry you too? were you guys ever going out before you guys got married? did you guys know each other before you guys got married? how did you get married at the age of 15, where do you livE?
my parents forced us into getting married to each other ...... we were datiing for one week and then we were forced becasue my parents didnt trust us and then threatend to call the police......... so we were persauded to marry one another....................
if you have something helpful to say that's not condescending and rude, then say it. and if you think she is lying, then stay out of the thread and inform a staff member. insults do not help. convoing is a waste of space. and responding so what? when the topic starter mentions self-mutilation is downright cruel. i will start issuing warnings from here on, so watch what you say.
Any more response like the one I quoted will not only get warning but a temporary posting disabled. You can not judge the girl without knowing about the hmong culture. Nor are you allowed to reply in such a crude manner. If you don't believe what's posted in here then kindly ignore the thread and stop adding to invoke more bashing. For the last time, behave or severe penalties will be taken by the moderating team and that includes the admins.
This girl came here to ask for sincere advice but many of you prejudged her and believe her to be lying. I would say none of you know about the hmong culture and what goes on in it. So you have no right to judge her and treat her so harshly. Think the next time you decide to post a response.
since many of you just read the first post and not bother reading the rest. I decided to put the warnings on the first page. Anyone who does not listen to either of our warning will get warned and possibly get their posting disabled.
-koumi
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Ok.......you're either some mental case in the nut house sneaking onto a computer or you're just really bored.
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wait, r u seriously married ?
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Uh....is this for real?
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wait, r u seriously married ?
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of course i am!!!! im serious!!!!
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So why'd you get forced into marrying him? If you guys did get forced into marrying each other, that's probably why he's treating you like scum.
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what do u mean married though
officially? at church? do u guys have a certificate?
or do u mean u guys are jus going out
and why did u marry him. did u get pregnant?
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What the?
Okay first of all, if you were forced to marry him and you love him, that doesn't make sense. Shouldn't you marry the ones you love with your own will?
If he's treating you like crap, how can you still love him? I'd seriously go back to my parents. Why is everyone always worried about what others think of them? Which is better: being unhappily married? or living with your parents?
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i laughed when i saw the topic title
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what do u mean married though
officially? at church? do u guys have a certificate?
or do u mean u guys are jus going out
and why did u marry him. did u get pregnant?
we got married traditionally........... im not pregnant ................we are not going out we really are married.................. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
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You didn't answer our question...Why were you forced to get married?
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i really am married ....... he is treating me like sh*t but i need help and advice..... im really serious........... and its not funny ........
You didn't answer our question...Why were you forced to get married?
i was forced to get married but i had no choice.............
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they let you get married at age 15??
where you from?
troll (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif) ;
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hard to believe this..
story seems.. childish
no offense but thats not proof
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There's got to be a reason why they forced you to get married.
Money? Some kind of deal with his parents?...?
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Ok.......you're either some mental case in the nut house sneaking onto a computer or you're just really bored.
AHAHHAA, okay, that was funny~
anwyays, wow, that sucks. Are you REALLY 15 though? (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif) ;
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somebody tell me is it that im too dumb and i just think i love him??? i do everything for this guy....... i serve him as an servant and get water to him....cook for him and everything else and wat does he show me???? nothing!!! i even do his college homework for him !!!! i even give hime pleasure when he wants so he wont get mad at me and distance from him...... in return i get myself starved and to the point where i am about to faint with no energy left..... i cried so many times...... i beg him so many times.. and why???? why doesnt he at least spend some time with me???? i dunt even cheat on him like he does on me!!!
Hahahaha, you're his B*TCH, doing all his work while he goes off and has fun (IMG:style_emoticons/default/laugh.gif)
He's obviously doesn't care about you and is using you.
But of course, those are just what I think cause you're only 15 and he's only 19.
You can always stay with him cause you're afraid to go back to your parents.
I still want to know how you got forced into the marriage though...did he rape you or something? Or did he pay you? Get his own elite force on you?
Or is it just marriage (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif)
Then in that case, just divorce.
You take relationships way too seriously with people that probably don't even care.
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omg, youre so young to be married! at least you could of gotten marred at age 16 or 17.
don't do his hw, he's suppose to do it himself, you act like he's the boss, you can control him too. get a knife and scare the crap out of him. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
how long have you guys been married?
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how can he force u? he drag u to the alter to get married?
