Question:
First off...I stopped going to soompi for the longest time. but now i just need your guys advice.
and yeah since i don't remember my old account i made a new one since i changed my email and everything.
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sorry its kinda long..but if you have the time please read.
Boyfriend: Justin
Friend: Matt
About two months ago i started going out with Justin.
I absolutely fell in love with him. There was something different about him, I really couldn't put my finger on it.
But he actually cared a lot about me, he worried about what happened to me, who i was with, and the things i did (I'm not the perfect little angel so yeah).
Well we got into a lot of fights. basically over flirting, going out with friends, and religion (i'm buddhist he's christian).
The fights were more and more frequent..and one day he was talking to me and sad I don't think i can be with you since you don't believe in God...and to go out with someone like that is a sin. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif)
When i heard that my heart sank.. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tears.gif) thoughts just ran through my head..how could he say that?
and well i talked to his best friend Matt, who also is a friend of mine and liked me...a lot, and they started to get into an argument about it. Justin said Matt back stabbed him for taking my side and trying to help me out, and therefore they are no longer on good terms. Well me and Justin broke up after he tried to convince me to believe in God..and when i wouldn't he called it off (he had dismissed my religion saying it was completely wrong..but he had agreed with some things it taught??).
But two days later we got back together.... but he had made me choose between him and Matt (and i choose him). well after a few days i didn't like it, we were constantly in fights and he'd always bring up the fact that i wanted to talk to Matt that's why i was being how i was...and i felt lost without Matt, he was there for me since day one that i met him (which was about the time me and Justin got together). I mean he was there for me and helped me through the fights that me and Justin had. Now i had no one to help me...no one knew the both of us. well needless to say, i broke it off.
Now me and Matt are talking again..and he's feelings are stronger for me (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blush.gif) and i'm beginning to have feelings for him.. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/vicx.gif) He wants us to be official..and not just keep flirting around. But i'm afraid of getting to attached cause he is moving in less than a month to a far away state... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tears.gif) and he understands so we're strickly on a friends bases...with a little whatever happens happens and we'll deal with it then.
Justin says that I'd go out with you again in a heartbeat..but i'm not asking cause that'd make me a pussy... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/blink.gif) and that he won't make me choose between him and Matt...or to make me believe in God. and also he tells me that since we've been apart he's been a mess cause he doesn't know what to do. and a lot of his close friends don't like me...cause i'm not christian and all they ever tell him to do is just go find a random girl to screw..and the keep doing that till he finds another one that he likes and will keep... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fury.gif) he's also said that if i dont' have any intention of getting back together then he doesn't want to talk to me for a while...which mostly means never again.
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Now i don't know what to do...
I care about Justin a lot more than Matt. but no matter what i can't forget about Matt. and I'm afraid that me if me and Justin got back together we'd just end up fighting more...
Matt...the feelings are definitely there. i think about him all the time practicely and he just constantly makes me smile..he's done the sweetest things for me. but i'm scared that if we start something we might get way to attached and so when he moves it'll ruin things...i don't want that to happen. i want to keep him as a friend when he moves.
so what do i do?
go out with the ex again? or just cut him off completely? do i give a the relationship a chance with Matt? or do i just keep it the way things are (friends with benefits..practicely)?
If you guys can give me any advice or opinions that'd be great. thank you.
Answer:
It sounds like your bf is too much of a bible thumping child to make compromises in the relationship between you two. I can understand why he'd feel somewhat threatened by the whole Matt thing, but the whole my God vs your God thing is stupid.
As good as the past has been for you (sweet things, romantic dates) it doesn't make what happens now, tomorrow and next week any better. Fights are good, but what you and Justin have is practically one sided. His friends being just as thick headed just make things worse.
As for Matt, it's a tough call and really up to both of you on how well you can accept and handle the distance. The commitment and level of trust is just levels above the norm for the most part.
All in all, Justin is selfish and ignorant. Matt is someone you have to realize for yourself.
Answer:
u cant date someone who doesnt respect your religion. i know this real hot guy who never went out with the girls he liked coz none of them were christian.
dont date justin again... i dont think it'd last long if you're not happy.
and Matt, wait until you like him more than you like Justin. no point going out with him if he's not your no.1 choice. and when u do really like him more, go out with him, regardless that he'll be moving. at least you'll have some good times together.
Answer:
WOW Justine... he is really........ lets not mention it, but if i was you i would stop my relationship between me and him. I know you luv and care for him... but does he ever cares for ur feeling at the end? all i feel is he he he nth you(do u get what i mean?) and if i was u i would stop thinking about my next relationship... like will i eva be with Matt... i personally think u should leave them for while and get ur feelings straight before u decide on anything. Cause there is no turning back after u decide on sth. but when u think u have to think on their sides too not just urs...
There is one thing i want to say no offending at all... but Justine.... he is such a self centered guy
Answer:
THe whole thing is your decision. The only part I find strange is that his friends don't like you because you're not christian, but they want him to find a random girl to screw. That's not really christian behavior, ya know. They're just bsing.
Answer:
justin sounds like a loser. matt seems like a better choice but he is going away. i think justin is being selfish by making u change ur religion for him? that's extremely selfish. u should try and change his religion lol..see how he likes it =)
and then slap him for being an idiot (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
Answer:
i would go out with matt..even though he's leaving. i mean, he can always visit, right?
and justin sounds like such a brat. he doesn't want to ask you because he doesn't want to be a pussy? and he doesn't want to talk to you if you don't get back with him. how fricken CHILDISH.
i don't really think you should date someone that doesn't even respect you & your religion. that's so retarded. you'd just fight for a long time if you went out. he'd probably pressure you in to converting.
so be with matt and be happy ;]]
Answer:
If Justin really does love you he wouldn't try to change your beliefs just because you don't have the same beliefs as him. And plus he said he can't date someone who doesn't believe in God, if you get back with him you'll constantly fight about the same old issues. They always say they'll change or do this and that but when you fight they bring the old issues back.
Also he should be controlling who your friends with, that's your choice. If he cares about you he wouldn't care who your friends with as long as your happy. He should let you go out with your friends also, he can't control you. And flirting is human nature, sometimes you don't mean to do it, it's just happen.
Even though Matt is going away soon, you should trying giving him a chance. He seems like he really likes you, sticking by you all the time & being they're for you when your ex and you are fighting. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/w00t.gif)
Answer:
It sounds like your bf is too much of a bible thumping child to make compromises in the relationship between you two. I can understand why he'd feel somewhat threatened by the whole Matt thing, but the whole my God vs your God thing is stupid.
As good as the past has been for you (sweet things, romantic dates) it doesn't make what happens now, tomorrow and next week any better. Fights are good, but what you and Justin have is practically one sided. His friends being just as thick headed just make things worse.
As for Matt, it's a tough call and really up to both of you on how well you can accept and handle the distance. The commitment and level of trust is just levels above the norm for the most part.
All in all, Justin is selfish and ignorant. Matt is someone you have to realize for yourself.
Answer:
justin is a prat
and matt seems like a good kid
i mean he broke a good friendship for you
and you go around and date the enemy again.
- _-;;;
personally i`d go for matt
i don`t date ppl who don`t respect my religion
and say things like you don`t believe in my god so blah blah
dude he makes christians look bad
