Question:
I'm sucha weird girl.. how do I become more hmmm open? girly? loveydovey? I don't know what the right word is.
but I'm sort of mean to my boyfriend. I don't see myself tellin him cheesy stuff. tellin him I miss him when I really do and really want to. but the words don't seem to come out of me =/ or telling him that I love him. or giving him hugs and kisses without having him to ask.
sometimess I wanna give him a random hug or kiss, but I don't know why I can't do it..whenever he asks for a hug/kiss, I end up rejecting that but still end up giving him a last minute kiss..
hes my first real boyfriend..anddd I like him alot but I'm so bad at expressing it.
Answer:
I don't think I'd tell anyone that I miss them or any of that cheesy stuff.
If it's just not you, I don't think you can force it, even IF it's your b/f.
Unless I'm mistaken and when you're in a real relationship, it can change your entire personality, but for the most part, I firmly believe in self..uhh...the self.
I mean if a girl expected me to give her them hugs and kisses without asking, I don't think I'd do it, cause I have the tendency to think that people can do things themselves (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
Answer:
LoLz.. you're so shy~
uhm.. just go for it!! next time u wanna hug him.. then HUG him.. dont feel scared.. dont have second thoughts.. just.. WHAMP hug him!! thatz the only way...~ and im sure he'll be blown away from it.. since u usually dont give him hugz.. ^^
the key is.. dont be scared.... just go for it!
Answer:
You don't have issues. You're just shy and dunno how to go on about showing your feelings. You should try it once and see your bf's reaction. xD I totally agree with Ayu.
Answer:
i think your not ready
Answer:
I'm sucha weird girl.. how do I become more hmmm open? girly? loveydovey? I don't know what the right word is.
but I'm sort of mean to my boyfriend. I don't see myself tellin him cheesy stuff. tellin him I miss him when I really do and really want to. but the words don't seem to come out of me =/ or telling him that I love him. or giving him hugs and kisses without having him to ask.
sometimess I wanna give him a random hug or kiss, but I don't know why I can't do it..whenever he asks for a hug/kiss, I end up rejecting that but still end up giving him a last minute kiss..
hes my first real boyfriend..anddd I like him alot but I'm so bad at expressing it.
seems to me that you're not ready for a relationship...theres an extent to where you're shy, but you're a little more than shy. the cheesy stuff i understand, because i get really nervous around my bf, when he looks at me in a certain way, and then he'll later say something mushy...and stuff like that...but you, you're just not ready. personally, i don't think you truely like him, but who am i to say this when i don't know you in person, i just think it's mere infatuation/lust. Obviously, you're not comfortable, you have to be more open minded, and these things happen in time.
Answer:
you don't need to say mushy stuff in relationship if you're uncomfortable with it. if you don't feel like saying it, then don't feel pressured to say it. but if you want to say it, just don't think about it and say it! don't care about what he thinks or what anybody else thinks.
but like everyone else is saying, maybe you are not close enough with him to say it. maybe you should try getting closer to him. better yet, tell him that you want to tell him all that stuff but you are too shy, he will understand.
Answer:
Don't try to like... push it. If you like this guy, just wait it out and it'll come out naturally. If you force it and it comes out awkward, I'm sure it'll make him feel more awkward hearing it than you do saying it.
Answer:
i used to be in your situation, maybe i didnt really like my ex-bf, so there were so many things i wanted to say to him, you know? it was just somehow i couldn't say at all..it seem like something held me back..but if he really likes you, he'll understand..(IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) only if that dude of yours has a lot of patiences for this as well..
Answer:
its not cheesy. its just how you feel at that moment
Answer:
sounds like your not all there when it comes to being in a healthy relationship...the MOSt important thing is you have identified this...so you can correct...Your problem isn't that your shy, or not knowing what to do...I think deep down your problem is not being able to be vulnerable...and deeper still your lack of ability to lose control....chances are your sex life lacks as well...as you hold back at times of orgasm...what you need to do is realize its ok to not always be in control...you can't control every situation and to immerse yourself in something and to let go can be a good thing sometimes...
sometimes not being able to losecontrol or be vulnerable can stem from something traumatic in the past, like feeling detatched during your child hood, or it could be your insecure in general which could be a number of different reasons...
Answer:
if he's with u, then he likes u the way u are!
so don't try to change yourself or your personality for him
if it starts to bother him later that you're not more open, and u still feel weird doing things like that, then talk it out and do other things that still show your love but aren't too cheesy (like cooking him food, guys love that.. or make him little cards or write out ur feelings intead).
i'm kinda like you, i don't like to show my feelings that often and i tend to hit my bf more than kiss him (just playin around though).. haha but he's used to it and if i start acting really girly then he says it feels awkward.. and he likes it better when i just act how i really am. but when the kissing/hugging stuff does happen, it just comes naturally.
so yea u feel me? don't change, just do u. good luck =)
Answer:
I think, since he's your first real boyfriend, you're just a little nervous because you're new to the intimacy. Just try to relax and express things when you feel ready.
Answer:
i'm like that .
for me it's because i don't feel comfortable with myself . like , i'd feel strange hugging anyone , even a girl , just because i feel like i look awkward .
Answer:
sounds like your not all there when it comes to being in a healthy relationship...the MOSt important thing is you have identified this...so you can correct...Your problem isn't that your shy, or not knowing what to do...I think deep down your problem is not being able to be vulnerable...and deeper still your lack of ability to lose control....chances are your sex life lacks as well...as you hold back at times of orgasm...what you need to do is realize its ok to not always be in control...you can't control every situation and to immerse yourself in something and to let go can be a good thing sometimes...
sometimes not being able to losecontrol or be vulnerable can stem from something traumatic in the past, like feeling detatched during your child hood, or it could be your insecure in general which could be a number of different reasons...
wow. thats a really good analysis. I think it actually may be because of that. I know I'm an insecure person and that I always tend to hold back on things..and vulnerability, I never liked to be seen as vulnerable or weak or anything like that.. I supposee now I have to learn how to just let myself go? lol which is actually harder than in sounds
Answer:
you just need to get more comfortable around him.
Answer:
The way I think it is ...
Dont give the guys all they want.
Dont obey to their needs because the more you do
the more pressure they are going to push you into
more intimidating stuff.
Just take all your actions with your boyfriend slowly
like you're doing now. If its not you to rush, your
boyfriend should understand. That's how a relationship
works, understanding one another.
If you want to open up more, just do it.
Take a deep breathe and just rush to him and give
him a random hug once in awhile. ^^
Answer:
I don't think I'd tell anyone that I miss them or any of that cheesy stuff.
If it's just not you, I don't think you can force it, even IF it's your b/f.
Unless I'm mistaken and when you're in a real relationship, it can change your entire personality, but for the most part, I firmly believe in self..uhh...the self.
I mean if a girl expected me to give her them hugs and kisses without asking, I don't think I'd do it, cause I have the tendency to think that people can do things themselves (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
Agreed.
Answer:
u remind me of my cuz
shes one of those kind of girl that doesn't like those cheesy stuff
but thats wat he bf likes about her anyway
maybe thats the same with u
beside... u dunt need to act alll loveydovey to tell ur bf u luv him
Answer:
wow. thats a really good analysis. I think it actually may be because of that. I know I'm an insecure person and that I always tend to hold back on things..and vulnerability, I never liked to be seen as vulnerable or weak or anything like that.. I supposee now I have to learn how to just let myself go? lol which is actually harder than in sounds
Thanks...letting go is all part of maturity...its hard, but if it wasn't it wouldn't be part of being an adult...it might take sometime but something that has helped me and my girl is to listen to your heart...it really sounds dumb but evertime your heart ebbes you to say I love you just do it...I have a hard time still because I used to be such a player and used to playing mind games and holding back...its really hard to undo 8 years of experience....but Its good to start somewhere....
This could seriously impede your success in life as will prevent you from engaging in activities that could really benefit yourlife...sometimes not being able to be vulnerable can lead you to not take up the right opportunities because of fear of not being in control....like taking that job in another state...or going out of state for that better college...or leaving a guy because he's a jerk....really think about it and know its ok not to always win...winning sometimes means your being the biggerperson and you learned something and have better yourself
