I've been a bit depressed lately. I try not to think about it, but it hit me eventually
am I in a pointless relationship?
My bf&I have been going out for 7 months. Everything seems great on the outside...he's still really nice to me and I still like him a lot and whatnot and my friends are always like awww how cute.
But really. We never have anything to talk about anymore. It's always, I'm bored, how was your day, and our relationship just seems to be going nowhere and is quite frankly getting dull.
And also, I'm a jealous type.
He used to flirt alot with girls...so yeah. He doesn't do it as much now, but it does hurt me when he does.
Girls would paste their convos with him onto his myspace and such, it just seems like he's always having a great time talking to other girls while our conversations consist of: so...what's up. and that stuff
That's not the boy I fell for. The boy I fell for was funny and always had interesting things to say. He would always tease me and hug me.
I mean deep down I think we still care for eachother.
Actually scratch that. Deep down, I still care alot about him. He claims that he does for me too, but I don't know if it's more of a caring care or really love care.
I'm so upset over this and it's been hurting me alot. What do you guys think? Are these signs of a pointless relationship? Are we just not meant for eachother?
Answer:
- It's natural to feel bored after a while,but i don't think it's really being bored, i think it's more of that you guys have to try something different that you've guys never done before
- I'm not sure if you should worry about the other girls and him
- What i do think is that you should have a talk to him, and tell him straight up on how you feel
- If things don't change eventually, and you feel like he's holding you back, or there's a big weight on your shoulder, you should end it
- if you're an uncomfortable person, just ask him casually like what happened to the old _____ i use to know if he says what is that suppose to mean, just tell him exactly what it means
- if he gets offended when you're talking to him RATIONALLY, then obviously it's a pointless relationship, and no matter how hard it is, just forget about him and move on (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
I have talked to him about things before, the relationship & the whole girls thing
First he makes me feel really bad because he's like oh you have no idea how much I care for you
But if he does then why doesn't he at least try to HIDE it cuz he KNOWS how upset I get (i was crying on the phone for like an hour last time)
and if I ask him anything, I'll just end up feeling really bad
it's like that nsync song...(wow ok)
I feel the pain, with or without (him)
it's like, if I'm not with him, I feel hopeless and lost
but with him, I feel really pressured and depressed
thanks for the tips BGIRL =)
Answer:
I have talked to him about things before, the relationship & the whole girls thing
First he makes me feel really bad because he's like oh you have no idea how much I care for you
But if he does then why doesn't he at least try to HIDE it cuz he KNOWS how upset I get (i was crying on the phone for like an hour last time)
and if I ask him anything, I'll just end up feeling really bad
it's like that nsync song...(wow ok)
I feel the pain, with or without (him)
it's like, if I'm not with him, I feel hopeless and lost
but with him, I feel really pressured and depressed
thanks for the tips BGIRL =)
Maybe you haven't caught on to the whole thing with guys. But in most cases, even if it wasn't your fault, they will try to make it your fault. They will say anything to make YOU feel bad, eventhough they know that it's really THEIR fault. Either that, or he'll say something sweet, that makes you feel guilty for even asking. Don't fall for those things, you gotta be strong and make a stand. It's like...he's wearing the pants all the time, show him who's boss (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) I understand what you mean. If you feel hopeless/lost/pressured/depressed, your relationship with him is not HEALTHY. Hunny, do what makes YOU happy, don't consider his feelings, cause it's very evident that you're not happy with him, and you've tried to get through to him, i suggest you break up with him. THats the best decision from what i know from what you told me, but in the end this is all YOUR choice
Answer:
well what's holding me back is that he IS a sweet guy and he does make me happy but occasionally things like that it just feels like is dragging us down and our relationship just seems to be going nowhere
thanks, i'll have to give it some thought
Answer:
Girls would paste their convos with him onto his myspace and such, it just seems like he's always having a great time talking to other girls while our conversations consist of: so...what's up. and that stuff
Those conversations MUST be exciting (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif)
Eh...habits are hard to break, even IF he has a g/f of 7 months...
At least, all of the guys here flirt like hell even IF they have g/f's..so..
Answer:
It's sad that happened, cus me and my ex had the same problem, during 2nd month and it was so horrible.. at the end we broked up during 4th month. Yes we did care for one another still, but things change as time went by. I hope you and your boy can talk more often, cus its not worth throwing such a long relationship away..
Answer:
I dont know what you should do but just to let you kno my bf use to just like your bf. I told him how i felt. At first he treated it like nothing. I really like him so I didn't give up on him. I started thinking even if he does flirt around I shouldn't get mad coz it's just flirting, it's not like they're having sex or having strong feeling for one another so I just ignored it. Fo awhile it was hard but I have my home girls to help me. Then he started asking why I don't get mad about it. Then I said it's just minor flirting...so he decided to make it a lil worse. So then I decided to still ignore it but also flirt around with guys. He got so mad and he couldn't take it anymore that he started to be more real to me. He told me he likes flirting around because it makes him feel better about himself. He told me how his confidence level is really low and that he felt intimidated by the guy friends I have. We had a loooooong talk...I also told him what I feel....so many tears and fights for awhile then now we're great. We've been going out for 19 months already. He doesn't flirt around anymore and I don't either. We always tell each other how we feel about certain things and we try our best to compromise. So if you really like him, you'll have to take a chance and put up with everything. It might not turn out the way you want it to so make sure you can emotionally handle what will happen. You don't want to ruin your life just for someone that might not be worth it ya kno.
Answer:
Maybe you guys should try a new twist in your relationship.
I think you both need to talk about what you think about the relationship and where it is going. It is natural to get bored with someone who you see and hang out with all the time. Maybe just have sometime to hang out with friends for awhile and have some space.
Answer:
I dont know what you should do but just to let you kno my bf use to just like your bf. I told him how i felt. At first he treated it like nothing. I really like him so I didn't give up on him. I started thinking even if he does flirt around I shouldn't get mad coz it's just flirting, it's not like they're having sex or having strong feeling for one another so I just ignored it. Fo awhile it was hard but I have my home girls to help me. Then he started asking why I don't get mad about it. Then I said it's just minor flirting...so he decided to make it a lil worse. So then I decided to still ignore it but also flirt around with guys. He got so mad and he couldn't take it anymore that he started to be more real to me. He told me he likes flirting around because it makes him feel better about himself. He told me how his confidence level is really low and that he felt intimidated by the guy friends I have. We had a loooooong talk...I also told him what I feel....so many tears and fights for awhile then now we're great. We've been going out for 19 months already. He doesn't flirt around anymore and I don't either. We always tell each other how we feel about certain things and we try our best to compromise. So if you really like him, you'll have to take a chance and put up with everything. It might not turn out the way you want it to so make sure you can emotionally handle what will happen. You don't want to ruin your life just for someone that might not be worth it ya kno.
That is so sweet.
You should definitely talk to your boyfriend about it - or just flirt back with other guys. o_o
Answer:
I've been a bit depressed lately. I try not to think about it, but it hit me eventually
am I in a pointless relationship?
My bf&I have been going out for 7 months. Everything seems great on the outside...he's still really nice to me and I still like him a lot and whatnot and my friends are always like awww how cute.
But really. We never have anything to talk about anymore. It's always, I'm bored, how was your day, and our relationship just seems to be going nowhere and is quite frankly getting dull.
And also, I'm a jealous type.
He used to flirt alot with girls...so yeah. He doesn't do it as much now, but it does hurt me when he does.
Girls would paste their convos with him onto his myspace and such, it just seems like he's always having a great time talking to other girls while our conversations consist of: so...what's up. and that stuff
That's not the boy I fell for. The boy I fell for was funny and always had interesting things to say. He would always tease me and hug me.
I mean deep down I think we still care for eachother.
Actually scratch that. Deep down, I still care alot about him. He claims that he does for me too, but I don't know if it's more of a caring care or really love care.
I'm so upset over this and it's been hurting me alot. What do you guys think? Are these signs of a pointless relationship? Are we just not meant for eachother?
1) you cant always be expecting for a conversation.
2) ok you are the jealous type, but he can only do so much for you, i suggest you change that its for your own good anyway
3) again with the jealousy thing... but if you really feel like the spark is missing, talk to him about it and see how he feels about this
4) everything is interesting when its your first time coming into contact with =.= are you saying hes not funny now? i m pretty sure he still hugs you and tease but maybe its you thats feeling different? (taking a guess there)
5) depends on your definition of a relationship. if you think relationship always needs to be fun n interesting. on top of all that XOXO and caring/emotion for eachother, then i guess it is pointless?
for me tho, all i need my partner to do is bring me peacefulness, comfort and be there for me. i dont need all that constant fun n interesting stuff from her, i got friends for that. its pretty hard to keep some1 constantly fansinated you know?
well what's holding me back is that he IS a sweet guy and he does make me happy but occasionally things like that it just feels like is dragging us down and our relationship just seems to be going nowhere
thanks, i'll have to give it some thought
does relationship always have to be moving forward? i mean, cant it just stay a certain way? do you really need all the excitement? at least he is sweet and nice to you, and he cares about you right? cherrish that.
平凡是福---i believe that you are chinese, can you read that?
Answer:
My Rules[u]
When it hurts too much, it's time to let go.
When there isn't enough love, it's time to let go.
Answer:
it's pretty natural just be normal.
talk to him bout wa u talk to ur friends about.
i think that might get the convo started.
Answer:
the same exact thing happened to me and my ex.
i guess we were never really good friends, we just went out really quickly, and we got bored of each other i guess? we ended it right away..
sometimes, it's just not meant to be. it will hurt even more if allow it to drag on..
but think it thru and try to make ends meet because anytings possible if u just try
oh god i sound so optimistic. sorry =X
Answer:
i think it's over -period-
Answer:
giirrrllll, i'm going thru the same thing, my bf and i have been going out fer 7 months and yeah he still talks to his ex and the girl he used to like and goes to hooters and shizz and it annoys me sometimes buh he tells me that he loves me and i believe him. and about the caring fer someone that doesn't care about you, im going thru that too, buh with my bestfriend
Answer:
- It's natural to feel bored after a while,but i don't think it's really being bored, i think it's more of that you guys have to try something different that you've guys never done before
- I'm not sure if you should worry about the other girls and him
- What i do think is that you should have a talk to him, and tell him straight up on how you feel
- If things don't change eventually, and you feel like he's holding you back, or there's a big weight on your shoulder, you should end it
- if you're an uncomfortable person, just ask him casually like what happened to the old _____ i use to know if he says what is that suppose to mean, just tell him exactly what it means
- if he gets offended when you're talking to him RATIONALLY, then obviously it's a pointless relationship, and no matter how hard it is, just forget about him and move on (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
good advice, but i think it's over too.
i would never allow myself to stay w/ someone i didn't feel good w/ anymore.
Answer:
He sounds exactly like my man. BIG FLIRT!
Omg you dont know how much it pissed me off.....he doesnt do it as much now....but yeh...we had lots of fights over that.
It's alright....sometimes my Fiance has more intellectual conversations wit his female friends then with me. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif)
Just initiate convo and make a change.
-Luna-
Answer:
I dont know what you should do but just to let you kno my bf use to just like your bf. I told him how i felt. At first he treated it like nothing. I really like him so I didn't give up on him. I started thinking even if he does flirt around I shouldn't get mad coz it's just flirting, it's not like they're having sex or having strong feeling for one another so I just ignored it. Fo awhile it was hard but I have my home girls to help me. Then he started asking why I don't get mad about it. Then I said it's just minor flirting...so he decided to make it a lil worse. So then I decided to still ignore it but also flirt around with guys. He got so mad and he couldn't take it anymore that he started to be more real to me. He told me he likes flirting around because it makes him feel better about himself. He told me how his confidence level is really low and that he felt intimidated by the guy friends I have. We had a loooooong talk...I also told him what I feel....so many tears and fights for awhile then now we're great. We've been going out for 19 months already. He doesn't flirt around anymore and I don't either. We always tell each other how we feel about certain things and we try our best to compromise. So if you really like him, you'll have to take a chance and put up with everything. It might not turn out the way you want it to so make sure you can emotionally handle what will happen. You don't want to ruin your life just for someone that might not be worth it ya kno.
good job =)
yea you just have to work it out.
Answer:
My Rules[u]
When it hurts too much, it's time to let go.
When there isn't enough love, it's time to let go.
*that's always a good rule to follow