Question:
You do not hafta read the long paragraph below, but I'd like to know. Those of you who are older siblings how close are you with your sibling(s)? HOW did you become like that? Teach me to be a good sister LOL.
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Okayss I never thought I'd do this, ask for advice from online peoples but I'd do anything to avoid homework, and I reallie need some advice right now. Where to start?
Well, you see I'm the oldest child in my family of four kids.
And I'm HORRIBLE at my job as an older sister.
Just recently I found out my sister has been a FAKE and a LIAR. Something I totally despise. She's like one of those people who are fake online telling a bunch of BS. I just found her Myspace and it talks about suicide and her cutting herself .. her having a boyfriend and going through all of this heartbreak she quotes sad love songs and junk. It said something about her parents abandoning her or dying..? HELLO. WE'RE STILL LIVING WITH THEM. I am at a complete lost as to WHY she's doing this. Creating a fake online person of herself. She's CRAZY addicted to the internet and I've been trying to pry her away from it. She hides all of her IMs whenever I walk into my brother's room (she's on his computer 24/7) and has like a gazillion buddies on her AIM list. I know for sure none of her friends have AIM because they're just a bunch of 10 year olds. She's the happiest out of us four & the most loved child (she's the 3rd born child btw). She's crazy spoiled, and is hecka scary with her friends O___O she acts like a boss or something as in GET ME THIS OR ELSE. I don't understand why she would create a person that leads a depressed life. She totally hated the internet until somewhere in late 2004? Maplestory got her addicted and she's meeting all of these people.. I believe she's dating one of them right now? That's like HECKA OLD. She doesn't know that I know though. At least pretending to be something else is better than giving REAL personal info to strangers right? The internet has corrupted her. She's gone from this innocent girl to a crazy perverted person when she's only in the fifth grade! What am I supposed to do to keep her away from the computer?! I've tried bribing her. I've tried taking her to places but she'd rather stay put. My best friend&I try to hint at her that we know what she's up to. Should I confront her? How am I aposed to confront her? -____-;; We're not exactly close like other siblings are.
Actually.
Our whole family is totally scattered. For a while I've ignored it and kept myself in my room and busying myself with other things like homework CONSTANTLY. I do not communicate with my family because it's always in chaos. But I'm starting to get worried about her. Is she REALLIE depressed? I know for sure my brother is and I can't do anything about it either. He's ran away three times and one attempt when he was around third grade..? (yeah our family has been messed up from the start) He skipps school and he went from 3.5+ GPA last year to less than a 2.0 this year. It's like he keeps everything inside and then when it all builds up he busts and starts with the I don't give a fcuk routine then leaves in the middle of school. It takes us FOREVER to find him. We've had to talk to counselors and such. He has no friends to talk to because he'd have a couple of friends then a week or so later they're no longer friends. Gah it's hard to explain -- you know all middle school stuff =\ My parents are the typical asian stereotype. You know the ones that beat you if you don't get good grades and see you as a HUGE disappointment, they just wanna disown you, you know? Or maybe it's just my parents. Yeahss I don't think my brother can take it anymore and he's no longer trying in school. My brother & sister are worrying me to death. My brother is showing symptons (sp?) of depression and I don't want it to get to the point where he wants to try suicide. My dad links everything that goes wrong with my brother to him being mental. HE SERIOUSLY THINKS MY BROTHER IS MESSED IN THE HEAD OR SOMETHING. He even asked my brother's principal that! Yeah, sure great way to make him feel any better. I'm sure it's basically because of our family problems. My dad has put him down and compared him to us since he was a kid. Why do you hafta wear glasses? Look at your sisters WTFF CAN'T YOU READ?! *hits him in the head* You're so stupid, even your 7 year old sister can spell this blahblahblahh.. you know?
To make matters worse, my parents bicker with each other constantly and rarely sleep in the same room nowadays. It's either my dad or mom sleeping on the couch downstairs. They both leave at night in separate ways leaving me at home my two sisters and brother. They leave for the whole night doing who knows what. Problems like this started when I was in the 8th grade (worse year ever.), but at least I had my friends to lean on you know? My brother has no one besides my youngest sister (they're the closest siblings), he tells everything to her. but she's so young and doesn't understand anything. She'll get more confused and mixed up you know? My other sister is off in her own little world. She's like that one Mildred character in Fahrenheit 451 . scary (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ph34r.gif) Because I've closed myself off to them to avoid conflict I feel like I've made everything worse.
I'm not there for any of my brother and sisters. I'm such a horrible sister.
My cousin often says she hates her sisters and she occasionally hits them because of annoyance, but she still takes them on outings and buys them toys to play with. Me? I don't even have ANY interaction with them. The only times I see them are in the mornings when we get a ride to school and rare occasions where I decide to go downstairs to eat dinner.
Our family is already totally scattered apart, if it gets even MORE torn what am I to do? I love my brother & sisters but to be able to comfort them would be like comforting strangers. I want to be able to be a sister to them and BE THERE when all hell breaks loose (I know for sure that's gonnna happen soon). How can it be when our family is full of BS, secrets, & lies? Gahh -___-;; After typing all that, I don't reallie know how to form the question. All I know is I need an answer haha
Answer:
Wow, i've never heard of anything like this before. I geuss the best thing to do is to just have them all gathered around a table and play Jenga? It sounds weird but its a start, anything is better than ignoring each other like strangers @ a bus stop.
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that is not a paragraph that is an unholy monster that makes my eyes bleed
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^ Lol, I'm sorry XD I was just rambling and didn't bother to break it down or anything. I'm not used to this writing out my thoughts type of thing so it kind of makes no sense. At least I'm not rIting lyK dizz ryTE? hehe xD I wouldn't want to be responsible for you going blind So, like I said you don't hafta read the paragraph o____o but I tried to break it apart so it isn't so blinding x]
Wow, i've never heard of anything like this before. I geuss the best thing to do is to just have them all gathered around a table and play Jenga? It sounds weird but its a start, anything is better than ignoring each other like strangers @ a bus stop.
They as in my siblings, or parents. Or both? What's Jenga? 0____0 A game right? Yeah right, like I can pry my sister away from the precious computer =_____= strangers at a bus stop. wow. I don't get how we've become like this __
Answer:
damn. That's a tough situation.
Well to say one thing, Don't blame yourself for anything. You haven't done anything WRONG. however you haven't done anything either.
either way, I hope you find a way to bring your family to greater harmony. goodluck
Answer:
well first of all, you aren't a bad sister.. if you were a bad sister you wouldn't either bother posting this asking for help.
at least you worry about them. don't you have a children's service in where you live? i know we do, and we can call and usually they can help you feel better and solve everything.. maybe you need to talk to them first, then try and get your brother...
your sister is really dangerous.. well in danger.. she could get lured by a paedophile and get raped and no one would know cause she would hide it right? maybe you need to bring it up with your mom.. your dad is typically like those asians that beat the crap out of their kids.. okay.. not crap.. but you know what i mean.
as for your brother... you really .. i think you just need to try and talk to them.. how was your day?!?! hows the internet? can i try.. can you teach me how to do it? or something like that.. something to distract them.. and go .. oh so should i go meet the people? and get a friend to like gangster and look dodgy and see whether your sister responds.. i know this is hard to do because you have to study and homework and all.. but i'm sure when you're in your rooom ...someday you can come and help them...
your parents.. you can't really fix them... it's really up to them.. if there's no more love.. there isn't anymore.. you can't fix that..
goodluck.
=)
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I'm not close to my bigger brother. Me and him just don't communicate as well neither. I'm closer to my god brother than my real blood one, its sad...
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maybe you should try to spend some quality time with your siblings like me.. but i spoil my 2 younger sisters a lot. my siblings and my cousins are like best friends haha.. hmm i think maybe because when i was young i spend a lot of time with them..
Answer:
i don`t know i`ve always been attached to my younger brother
cuz when we were toddlers, i would always hold his hand
once he disappeared in the supermarket
and i bawled so loud my mom came running and quickly found him about to walk out the market O_O;;
we always had arguments but we always had each other baks.
now that i`m in college, we are even closer
he always calls me and asks for advice.
i guess we`ve just always been there for each other
i don`t know how to teach you to be more attentive.
Answer:
aww.. I am honestly JEALOUS of you guys.. to have a close relationship like that with your brother(s) / sister(s) omg. you suck . lol jk I know it's my fault for having things come out this way. I know I'm a bad sister so please don't try to comfort me and say I'm not; it makes me feel worse cause I KNOW I am a horrible one __
biforever Lol, most of my guy friends would be too nice to participate in a let's scare the pants off of a little girl ploy @_@
any-avocado thanks guys for trying to help & for the advice (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) I'm still not sure how I should approach them .. (about the internet & depression thing), but yeahs. thanks ^____^ It's just nice getting something off of my chest (IMG:style_emoticons/default/happy.gif) since I've got conflicts piled up to the ceiling for me. Dang, didn't know holding it all in could be so exausting (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wacko.gif)
I'll think about the get together thing. Maybe organize an Easter Egg hunt for them lol. But what am I aposed to do? All of a sudden stop and go oh by the way.. how are things going? I want to be a good sister to you! lol XD I wonder how things would be like if my parents weren't like this.. =\ (not that I'm blaming them)
Answer:
youre not alone! i'm not close with my younger brother either. he's so whiney all the time it annoys the hell out of me. and don't even get me started when he brings his friends over. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/crazy.gif) just talk to them more? it won't happen over night. act like a sister, nto a parent. don't try to tell them what to do. when they start to open up, just go like if i was in your place, i would... theyll usually listen. that's what my mom does to me. but half the time i don't listen. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif) but she's my mom so thats a different story. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/rolleyes.gif) i'm rambling now. haha well, gl!
Answer:
TALK TO YOUR SISTER. Even though it may be uncomfortable to talk about, talk about it to her. I accidentaly read my sister's diary when I was cleaning up the house and found that she liked a guy and was crying about it. and she is only in fourth grade. 0____0 we have to watch out for our siblings and teach them the right way to live. Especially with so many things corrupting children these days, we have to make them know the dangers.
Answer:
mhm.. talk to your siblings about this.. you're the only one here trust me... does ur sister want attention?? it seems like she's like that... I goes up and down with my sis in 6th grade. she talks alot so... she will say everything but sometimes she hide something.. XD oh yeah and she's very spoiled but not like ur sis.. mine is rude and she doesn't respect me or my brother.. XD but me a model and let them look up after you...
Answer:
Hmm, your sister is really something, huh!
What I would do/have done before:
unplug wires, ban sites; (ive banned xanga from her before haha (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) ~and now she can't go on it becauze of some sh*t about ppl younger than 13 can't own a xanga/myspace.) andd uhh, i don't knoww.
Some ppl up there say.. TALK TO YOUR SISTER! yeah, it ain't so easy to do. I mean, if I were you, i wouldn't be able to talk to her either.. especially about suicide? and online bfs? o.o;; wow i wouldn't evn know where to start.. my sis just got her pd. and i don't even wanna hear/talk about it.. ;
just talk to her more often and when she's on the computer and stuff, try starting a convo. or something.. o.o; i don't know.. i got like 3 sibs. but only one is addicted to the interney.. the other one is addicted to handball [cuz she don't wanna be short like me LOLL], and the other one is... barely walking. lol.
and yeah, so if i were you, like i said, id just unplug wire. and hide the cable/dsl box thingy. (whtever you call it.)
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i have an older sister and i'm pretty close with her
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wow so longg...but to answer your question, im very close with my younger siblings more than my older ones. i dont know how i became like this; protective and caring coz before, i was a BULLY (biggest bich you ever know)!! i had bad tempers and usually beat them up for saying 1 lil wrong thing to me even if it was a joke....but i changed....i just felt bad on how my older broz and parent treat them so i tried my best to be there for them, listening to their probs and hearing about their days and everything...
Answer:
talk to ur parents about it
sit them down and tell them not to talk until ur done and talk about this
being a older sibling u can only show them thr setting an example for them and try to guide them to the right way by talking to them and getting to close their personal life
instead of resticting her and bribing her to not go on the computer, do the stuff she do and use that to send the message you want to send
but most importantly talk to ur parents about it
tell them that tho they are fighting, it shouldn't affect ur brothers and like instead of teaching them the hard way like hitting them n stuff use the soft way and talk to them about it
i dunno if i make any sense but good luckk
Answer:
there isn't anything i can say that will solve this kind of problem but i can tell you abot soem of the things i do.. i guess.. but dont try to force it.. dont expect anything from them.. if you're this closed off from your family.. i expect your siblings are too and also closed off from you.
the first thing is to simply become comfortable around them.. how? i dont know. but become acquianted with them, talk to them.. but dont start off serious.. just become... the person that they've needed to lean on.. the person thats a friend and doesnt ask too many questions...the person that they know will always be there no matter waht... haha it's hard to explain.. but my family used to be like that too... excluding my dad becasue he isnt part of it.. until.. well anyway each of us, my sister and mom and myself were really... closed off..
one way someone described me as was having a hard shell but vulnerable inside...
i think everyone in some degrees is like that. you're brother probably feels really pathetic and useless... dont try to tell him he's soo good over and over again.... sometimes.. maybe.. but keep in mind.. they dont really like pity... it makes them feel more useless. encourage him and let achieve something.
the thing with your parents? they have to figure it out on their own... just as you and each and eveyrone of us need to figure ourselves out. you telling them that what is happeneing with them is having an effect on you and your siblings will help things.. but this .. if you are gonna tackle this by yourself.. is gonna be hard..
im in a rush so im not sure if anything i typed will be of any use.. haha maybe maybe not but i wish you the best of luck.
mg
Answer:
They're still young so there are plenty of times.
Your brother, you should communicate with him more. Knock on his room, and ask him if he need help on his h.w. Play games/sports with him and your sis and make jokes. Do things that he like to do, try to get into his emotions and earn his trust.
Your sister, it can be hard to tell her to get away from the comp. You need to put more effort on that.
Try to be close to them, then settle it with your parents.
Answer:
O_O That was so long. Sorry I only read the first paragraph and then skimmed the rest.
Well from what I read from about your family. I think my family was like that before. Always arguing and my older brother and I used to FIGHT ALOT. Not just verbally but physically. =.=;; I hated him SO MUCH. And he always skipped school and whatnot, causing my parents to be stressed and always argue over every little thing. I seriously went trough the most horrible time in middle school. TT__TT My family was like going to SPLIT up. My parents didn't talk to each for days, even weeks and I was always caught in between. My brother didn't give a damn about anything. We went through those counselor things too. Actually just my brother and my parents did...
But then slowly my brother started to go back to school and lost his horrible temper. My parents got a lot less stressed. Maybe money isn't a big issue now? Before they would argue a lot about money too. Then my brother and I got closer. Now he's like nicest to me out of everyone in the family and listens to whatever I say. LOL Oh yeah btw, before he was kind of depressed as well.
I think it's mostly about your parents? Like how they talk about your brother. I'm not sure how you could talk to your parents about that. Talk calmly about how they're treating him and maybe that's why he's been acting that way. And talk to your brother. I think he needs someone that really cares for him. :]
And your sister? I HAVE NO IDEA. Kind of weird... But you definitely need to confront her. Ask her why she's doing this. You don't need to tell everyone though.
Wow. This turned out longer than expected. I guess I want to let you know that there are people who have gone through what you have. And everything gets better someday. ^___^
