Question:
So, I am in high school. And I really feel like I have met my friends that I will be forever friends with. Well yeah, like...I have alot of friends. but there is this group of friends. and we call ourselves Dumb Family. There are 2 seniors, and 2 juniors. We have known eachother for about 2 years now. and were like unsperateable until recently. Well..lets call her dumb-er. Dumb-er has been changing and well..she used to kinda be cubby. but it was CUBBY she was only about 130, and she had like big cheeks. but thats about all. well durning the summer she lost like alot of weight. and shes like a stick now. literally like 100 pounds. And after when school started again, there are these oppas that go to my school, and they pick on her like ALL the time. so..they keep making fun of her saying that shes still fat, and so shes like going on this week streak and like trying to loose more weight. and they compare dumb-er to...lets call his girl dumb and saying that shes fatter then dumb. so that just made her want to loose weight more..when the reality is that dumb-er is like a stick. Well, now dumb-er only seems to be hanging out with the Oppas that made fun of her and totally ignores the rest of us. When we are together she doesnt even say hi, until we say hi first. and she cant even hold a conversation with us for more then 3 minutes, without turning to someone else and talking to them. more then annoying...its really hurts. But the worst part is...that I dont even think she knows that shes doing that to us. and so shes not fixing it. but we have tired talking to her...but she doesnt take it seriously. and now, the rest of our group is really fed up with her, and we dont want anything to do with her. but...there is still that thing...were I thought we were going to be FOREVER friends. it hurts. what should i do?
Answer:
Sometimes in life, we have to understand when it's 'game over'. Let her go, man. She chose to be 'cool' over her friends that truly care. It's her loss.
Answer:
omgoodness
i am in EXACTLY the same situation as you.
my really good friend.. we were inseparable.. she lost a lot of weight during the summer and she's come back a stick.. but here's where its' different.. she doesn't think she's too skinny.. she continues to DIET like hell. and exercise like crazy as if she thinks she's normal. she thinks she's normal when everyone knows she's not.
no one tells her though, except me cause i'm very honest...so now i've decided i can't talk to her because it hurts too much to talk to her and see her like this.
from that, i've decided to not have anything to do with her. at the end of the day, she will realise, but whether that's too late or not, it's not your problem because you've done all you can to help her.
believeme, i've cried like crazy, and it didn't solve anything...
that's my situation.. not sure how i can help...but that's my insight.
=)
Answer:
I'm really sorry... but... ahhh, this sounds so negative.
Friends don't always last forever.
I mean, we can do all we can to try and make it so that we remain friends... but people change. In this case, your friend sounds kind of like they have self-esteem issues (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif) ; so I would say let them go. They're always going to put other things [like popularity in this case] before you.
I'd say just move on. Maybe they'll realize who their real friends are and come back to hang out with you but otherwise, you need to let them go :]
Answer:
i know this sounds sad,
but thats how life works.
there's no such thing as a foever friend.
people change.
i guess your friend changed.
but what can you do? nothing. just wish her the best and move on.
Answer:
Hmmm.. I don't even know why the word Forever was even invented. That person must be the devil.
Anywho, nothing last forever as harsh as it may seems. Like being a kid, all good things must come to an end. You just have to accept and let it go.
Answer:
let her go. friends don't last forever. well, some do, but its really rare.
my last bff [best friend forever] drifted away from me and became close friends with someone i really dislike. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
try talking to her, explaining you are serious about this. if that doesnt work...let her go. let dumb-er have her fun with the sh!tbricks so she can learn her lesson.
Answer:
i'm surprised you haven't already learned this since you're in HS...
people change. whether you want them to or not.
there is nothing you can do about it.
you could try to talk to dumber about it. but i highly doubt its going to do any good.
obviously she cares about impressing those oppadeul than being with her friends.
let her be, surprising as it is, there are people with strange goals in life.
Answer:
man that sucks
but no matter how close your group was before, people change. if she wants to hang out with other people, it is her choice. it's kind of harsh, but it is the truth. i guess you could try telling her that you guys are serious and that you want to keep the friendship. but this girl sounds like a b!tch and i would just let her go. it would be her fault for changing because of other people.
Answer:
yeah sometimes these things happen. you lose friends for some reason. but i guess there's a reason for everything. maybe she wants new friends ?
Answer:
Your group lacks sympathy and empathy. Just because she lost weight doesnt mean shes okay in her own skin. If you guys are such close friends shouldnt all of you get on those guys making fun of her. Real friendship isnt always easy and yes,people do grow apart but in this case this girl is going through something within herself and you all are just abandoning her because you dont really want to deal with her problems.
Answer:
Thanks you guys for the advice.
but there is something different..
Like all thoes people that make fun of her..like the oppadeul...we tell them to stop. we even like went to a point where we were gonna like seriously hurt them. they have changed them her so much. and we dont like. the three remaining people are really realizing this...and we just dont worry about her anymore. we cant stop her from changing. and I guess people really do change.
Answer:
I'm really sorry... but... ahhh, this sounds so negative.
Friends don't always last forever.
I mean, we can do all we can to try and make it so that we remain friends... but people change. In this case, your friend sounds kind of like they have self-esteem issues (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif) ; so I would say let them go. They're always going to put other things [like popularity in this case] before you.
I'd say just move on. Maybe they'll realize who their real friends are and come back to hang out with you but otherwise, you need to let them go :]
Yeah, I agree. Some friends are meant to be there with you, while others aren't.
Answer:
friends dont alwaiis last forever. we just have to get over it.
Answer:
someones gotta counsel her.. maybe she thinks that you were friends with her old self and so you lot know her past and she doesnt want that. she doesnt want the past to haunt her and so shes trying to distance herself away from people that remind her of the past.
Answer:
alright I'm not gonna lie to you, groups that you make up in high school never end up existing after it. Sure you guys will kick it here and there maybe but you'll all go your separate ways most likely.
Answer:
thanks for all the advice. but i took another route. and we are all okay now. yeah..she was kinda stunned that we felt that way. and yeah~ i cried ALOT after telling her. but we worked everything out!! and we even celebrated dumb's birthday together today!! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
