Question:
Sorry for wasting a thread. I don't really want comments or suggestions though I probably need it. ; I just don't want anyone to put me down like everyone tends to do. I guess I'm just confused and I dont know what to do with myself.
I guess I'm one of those clingy girls that just depend on one person. But I don't show it. I just keep the sadness to myself. Like.. When I ask my boyfriend to come study with me at barnes&nobles because I can't study at home, he doesn't want to b/c he doesn't have a ride. I offer to pick him up and he just says he's tired. And when I say Oh okay, I guess he feels bad and says that he'll go with me tomorrow and I get all giddy :]
Then the next day comes and its a whole cycle once again. Maybe a month of this is when my clingy-ness comes in. When he would give me an excuse such as he doesn't want to be around a lot of people, I would just kind of be like Oh okay and hang up so he doesn't hear me cry..
Stupid thing to cry about right? I guess it's just that I feel so alone at home.. And I really want to see him. It's other things too.. Like Spring break just passed I wanted to go to 6flags or whitewater just once.. Once.. they got this new ride :] But he just says he's tired or he doesn't have money. I offer to spend 20 on his ticket but he says he just doesn't want to.
He's so diffferent when he's with his friends. He's really hyper but with me he's just tired.
The reason why I try not to cry in front of him is that I guess it annoys him. he says it doesn't but why else would he just hang up and be like I don't want to deal with this which kind of makes me cry harder.
I'm a stupid girl for having a weak heart. I get insulted realy easily. My bf says I have a paranoia that I'm getting upset about little things. Ex: He sometimes says stuff to me like.. wtf julie (online lol.. ;) when I annoy him or did something wrong. And I kind of get sad so I say Can you please not say wtf directly to me unless you're saying that to someone else And he promises.. But one of mine slipped out. And he starts saying it alot.
When he gets into his nice moods again I ask him again not to say it. And he just explains how he doesn't see how saying wtf to a person is at all offensive.
I guess he's right but it just kind of kills my mood and bring me down. I seriously have NO ONE to talk to about these feelings. They just.. aren't that close or they don't care.
I feel so ugly but he's the only person that keeps my self-esteem high. I guess it's because he's a guy. There are girl's who say wow, you're pretty but sometimes you can just tell when people say that while being fake. If you know what I mean.
When I cry about stupid things such as those, he just kind of yells at me and when I point it out, he denies it or he says he does it because I'm yelling at him first I try to explain it's because I can't breathe when I cry and it's really hard to get the breathe to talk and really hard to talk softly when you're crying really hard.
But he just gets fed up and hangs up. After a few hours or days he calls me up and is really nice to me which just sucks me in because I forget how it feels to be hurt and sad. And I get really happy :]
If you didn't read this all just think of it this way.. Pretend you want something really bad. And your parents PROMISES to give it to you in an hour. And you get all excited. But they stay on the phone and say just wait. And next day goes by. And they say they'll really get it for you but makes you wait. And nothing improves. As just like that, my feelings get really high and it gets shot down. Then high again then down.
I guess I'm this way b/c I'm always rejected by my friends and get called being annoyed because I get really hyper sometimes and run my mouth. Always getting put down. So to him I really don't want to be annoying so I just do what he wants me to do without complaining. Which is why I try to be calm and only cry if nobody can hear me. But I just try to stop completely just incase I'm with him in person. So I guess that makes it worse to me mentally.
I (kind of ;) got over the jealousy stage of him so that's not really a factor of our arguements anymore. It used to be when he flirted with my friends that I'm hugely jealous of because she gets everything I want. (Looks money and all) And they go to the same school and I don't. But I'm over that because he promised not to flirt :]
Its just that there's nobody to go to for anything and all I have is him. I can't let him go. I guess it's just a security issue. He's just mean to me sometimes and when I point that out, he says it's not being mean and I'm being a drama queen. I just agree with him because I don't want to argue. And he gets mad because he thinks I'm getting smart with him.
I really don't know what to do with myself. I guess I'm just a typical annoying girl nobody gives a damn about. T^T
Not to be rude but if you don't got anything nice to say, please dont say anything. I'm already down as it is. Sorry for the longy-ness. [No, I'm not emo (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif) ]
edit [4/29]
I know I made him seem bad in the entry but he's really a good guy when he's in a good mood. He tries to cheer me up when I'm down. :]
And I want to thank every single person for their entries. I read them all slowly and carefully3 Thank you for taking the time to listen and.. ty for the hugs 3 (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Answer:
omg im' going thru the same thing. except it's not about my bf it's with my best friend. i jus feel like he hates me and i've been tryna keep my distance from him.
dun worry i'm one of those clingy girls too. nd like today, i got upset and i jus went home. i'd prefer not to show it. it's like whenever pple ask me wat's wrong, i tell them nothing. i'm jus friggin tired of relying and caring fer pple who dun give a damn fer me. i kno it sounds selfish buh yeah u shud kno how it feels rite? i mean it's like they dun care fer u as much as u do fer them.
buh dun worry he must care fer u. it's jus maybe he doesn't show it much. das like my bf. he dun show he cares buh i kno he does like thru xanga entries and shizz. so dun worry about it.
Answer:
The first thing I thought:
Why is he being so insenstive? What a f*ck.
I don`t mean to say anything bad, but I just HAD to say that. Seems like he doesn`t even really wanna talk to you, since he`s pushing you way so much and all, and w/ the excuses too.
How long has this been going on? If it`s only been a couple days, then give him some time. Maybe he is really just tired and stressed.
Answer:
a boyfriend like that isn't worth it..yanooo? it seems like he's putting you down more than you already are. A good bf is supposed to make you happy and smile not make you cry and feel bad...let him go.
Answer:
I know what its like. To want to love and spend time with him but hes always tried... but when he's with his friends, its different. I can't really help you out, but just to let you know your not alone. I cry b/c sometimes I think about the times we hang out together, and how different it is with his friends. He's always jolly with them, but when it comes me, he gets tired. He says its b/c of work. I believed it for a bit, until he told me he was gonna hang out with his friends. When he called it was different, he wasn't tired. Every time he calls me he isn't tired when hes out with his friends. But when he's out with me, hes always tired. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) and yes, I only have him, hes my only friend. :: sigh :: I feel ugly too, and yes he is the only one who keeps my selfestem up. Yes I feel weak, and like a retard for depending so much on him, when he does so little. I hold on b/c I am too week, I hold on b/c hes the only one person I have. Its bad, but sometimes, some people can't just run away from bad things. I don't know what to do to myself either.
Anywho, you are still in school I take it? You should meet new people and try to make friends. Im going back to school in the fall, and hope to make new friends and not depend on him so much. Basically, I want to move on and stop crying. best wishes to you. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
why haven't you dumped this loser already?
Answer:
You're really nice.. right? Please don't let him take advantage of that. You deserve better. If you're not happy around him, and he seems to be putting you down more than cheering you up, then whats the point of having him around? You're better off with somebody who makes you feel good about yourself.
Answer:
first of all i wanna giv yu a big hug *hugss* awww... i read it yeah i dunno y but for sum reason yur bf dont seem like he likes yu dat much. i was in yur situation bout 2 yrs ago. i noe it sucks but like i think yu shuld go out n meet more friends. im sure ppl out there will truli like yu as a fwn. N as for yur bf he seems i dunno he seems like a loser. yu shuld ask yurself.... do yu really need this guy? can he really make yu happee? well liek anyone else yu deserve to be treated right n to be happee..
gudluck sorry if i wasnt much help.
Answer:
omg..your situation is so much like mine before, hehe..but gosh, you know, a guy like him doesn't deserve you, i know it's hard for you right now to move on..well yeah, it took me a while too..so i know what you are going through..
if you don't like the way he treats you, try to think that there are other good guys that will treat you better in future..you don't need this guy..you don't want to cry every day because of him, it is not even worth your times..
i did move on really well hehe..but good luck to you..
Answer:
sounds like ur bf doesnt give u enough respect. if this doesnt work out u should keep ur distance and dump him. u sound like a nice girl just sensitive [not emo =P] i think u deserve a lot better
hope it all works out for you =] *hugs*
Answer:
you seriously need to get the heck away from this guy... this is not healthy... you live YOUR LIFE for YOURSELF... and NO ONE ELSE... don't let him control you like that.
-g.h.
Answer:
TIME FOR A NEW BOYFRIEND.
He doesn't sound nice at all.
Answer:
flirt with other guys
see how he'd like that
give him a taste of his own medicine
Answer:
i think you should break up with him.. =\ i dont know if that is putting you down and stuff but to me a GOOD BF would not make me cry, hes there to brighten up my days even though there would be ups and downs. But i hope you knwo what i mean becuase if hes pushing you away than theres a problem here.
I know you feel like you need someone to cling on to, thats the way i feel sometimes too. I mean i get these moments when i feel so lonely cause i had a bf for almost 2 years and than i liekd this other guy but he still has feelings for his ex and a lot of stuff happneed between me and him. But either way you should not be having a high self esteem because of him. Do something for yourself. i mean no offense to my friends but they make me feel like im invisible cause sometimes when i talk its etiher they ignore what i say or just interrrupts me and i feel like ..wth... and yeah i cry sometimes about it but its life you know? Just go do something for yourslef. SHOPPING ;D dont know if you like that but maybe it will help. i understand about the friendship thing either they are not there for you or w.e becuase i have lost so many close friends to me, and that just made me believe there is no such thing as friends forever. i don tknow if you reading this helped you. you can pm me if you need more advices. =)
Answer:
omg. i read the whole thing and you are sooo like me. except, i have a best friend who i can call when anything's wrong. you should let him know that he's hurting you.. and pleaseeeeeee do NOT depend on him too much. don't depend on him for security.. please, do not. you CAN let him go. it's better that you go to a different school, too. make your own friends!!! if he doesn't have time for you or patience to make you feel better, let him go. i know it's hard to do.. but do not make your life all about him.
Answer:
i could relate to you, i'm sensitive too. there’s times when my boyfriend does something that makes me upset but its usually unintentional. plus he knows how sensitive i am and he tires his best not to hurt me but it seems like you’re boyfriend doesn’t care at all about how horrible he makes you feel. whenever he makes you feel bad and denies it or say he’s not being mean just saying something along the line you cant deny the fact that you’re making me feel bad because i know how i feel and if he doesnt get it.. leave
Answer:
your boyfriend isn't really patient is he huh?
he's insensitive too.. maybe you need to rethink your relationship and find some friends who you can depend on.
sure you have a boyfriend, but then you have a best friend and beyond a best friend you have close friends as well.. - your network of help..
do you have that? i think you need that.
you can't always depend on your boyfriend.. your boyfriend is PRONE to making excuses e.g. i'm too tired. those are just excuses to not see you. as if he's tired, how come he haas time to see his friends and be hyper?
i think you need to rethink your relationship. i'm not putting you guys down, maybe i'm totally off your situation but he doesn't seem to care and he should be sensitive towards your feelings...not flirting is a good step.
you need to find friends to talk to about these things.. you can't always depend on him...
goodluck
=)
Answer:
he may want some room to breathe, but it does seem like he's being a little too indifferent towards your behaviors and needs.
at times like this, you should talk out with your friends.
good luck!
Answer:
seems like you've got a choice to make:
1) you keep going out with him even though you know that he will treat you badly because you have low self-esteem and think that the only reason you can boost that is by having a boyfriend.
a) yes i do think he's treating you badly. he's being an inconsiderate bastard and not doing what a boyfriend is meant to be doing. ie comforting you, not avoiding you, telling the truth etc.
b ) i don't think he's telling you the entire truth when he says i'm tired and i think you realize it as well.
c) if you think the only way of boosting your self-esteem is having a boyfriend then you need a life makeover. Try finding things you're good at and put all your effort into them. Getting respect for it also.
2) You could break up with him and deal with your insecurities. Great quote: People don't change overnight. but you must keep in mind that people can change. Therefore, so can you. Do I think you need to change? Honestly, yes. Your viewpoint of yourself and your life and everyone around you isn't all that healthy. Mentally emotionally, you need to find friends if not family who truly care for you. If they don't ditch them. you can't be scared of being alone. Everyone is at sometime in their life but everything will pick up again with the right attitude and approach. You can't go through life being unhappy with what you are and what everything around you is simply because of one fear. Fears can be overcome.
Also, if things get tough, you'll always find strangers on soompi willing to listen/read and help you out with stuff (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif) don't ever forget that. don't ever think you have noone
Answer:
Hmmm...I'm kind of clingy too. But I don't cry that often with my bf. Usually only when I'm PMSing about reallllly dumb stuff.
I think the constant crying might be a turn off to guys. But if you have a valid reason, then he should be listening. It depends on when this whole cycle started. Was he always like this? This tired stage and unwillingness to do anything with you? If so, then he's just a bad boyfriend. If it started after a certain point, maybe you can figure out when and why. Or talk to him about it.
If this kind of cycle ever happened with my bf, I'd definitely talk to him about it. And get a straight answer out of him.
Some of my friends always get caught up in these relationships where there is this constant crying over what their bf did or did not do or what he said. And it honestly gets OLD. Even to me. I hear their complaints and sob stories over and over again, and it gets annoying. Honestly, you feel bad the first couple times, and offer advice, but when the guy acts the same over and over again and the girls keep going back, then they're just...asking for it in a way.
I'm not trying to put you down at all, but you need to put it in perspective.
You'll always be able to find others who will treat you just as well or better. Self-esteem comes from within. Feel good about who you are, what you're like, what you look like and don't care about others. Everyone has flaws, everyone has their own perfection.
You don't need a boyfriend to tell you that. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
