Question:
one of my friends is a total sweetheart, but one of her weaknesses is that she's the type of girl who can't live without a boyfriend or a boyfriend figure in her life. recently one of the guys she was dating broke it off with her and she was devastated. For the first time, she asked me, is there someting wrong with me or is it just the guys I choose? The thing is, it's not entirely due to the guys she chooses. I've known all of them before they dated and they are all good guys and never cheated on her through their long term relationship. The thing is, all of them have told me or other close mutual friends the reason why they no longer want to be with her is largely because of intense insecurities and clinginess/demandingness driving them away. For a split second, I wanted to tell her as nicely as I can but how do you tell someone those things? She cries to me all the time whenever she has guy problems and I listen willingly, of course because I care about her a lot, shes like a sister to me, but honestly I don't know if I should just clue her in or just let her continue this way =\ I just think either way, she'll hurt somehow.
Answer:
Instead of telling her why they are breaking up with her, give her advice on how to change making it known that she needs to be secure and that relationships are based on both giving and getting. I think you should steer away from, It's because... but rather I think that maybe you should be... If you keep letting continue on this way, she'll get hurt much more than if you be that good friend and help her.
Answer:
Ehh... i think she should keep dating around till she finds someone who'll appreciate or tolerate her clinginess rather than giving herself misery by repressing it. Since I don't necessarily think clinginess is a bad thing. Though you can give her a hint on her insecurities, since trust is important in any relationship, with the exception of really i can't readty ones.
Answer:
What's wrong with a clingy g/f?
I think it's just them. I mean, you can do stuff with clinginess (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif)
Answer:
i happen to like clinginess.. even though it can be annoying... but eh well...
Answer:
if shes gonna get hurt either way, just tell her the truth without it being candy-coated, since you two are close you two can talk it out
Answer:
There's really nothing we can say or do to make a friend feel better when they're in turmoil over a relationship. Listening to them rant, rave, and cry is one of the feel better things we can do to help them. Unfortunately, if we don't share with them something we know that may pose as a problem, it can basically become worse in the long run. I think if you do share with her the probability that she may be a bit too clingy and insecure, she might realize it since it's coming from you... a good friend. It's better to come from you than someone else who might not spare her their true feelings. Telling a friend or someone you care about negative things about themselves is never easy, but sometimes, tough love is therapeutic.
In time, we all learn (for the most part) what things we need to change about ourselves. As someone said, perhaps she will find someone who is tolerant of her need for attention and insecurities. Maybe she just need to focus on herself and other things; learn to be alone for awhile.
Answer:
just tell her =.= unless you want to see her get dumped again then... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif)
Answer:
just tell her =.= unless you want to see her get dumped again then... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/phew.gif)
its harsh, but its got to be said.
but i know what you mean too.
Answer:
You just have to tell her.
As a good friend you just have to giver her advice and tell her straight to her face.
I have friends who have a tendency to be clingy to guys and I just tell them that they are like that.
If she keeps doing the same thing, she will get even more hurt.
She needs to grow up and get over her insecurity.
Answer:
you gotta tell her
its either you the best friend
or a guy who tells her straight up
Answer:
I have the same problem. And I've talked to my friend about it before, and she always says I know.... but nothing changes. =.=
I've listened to all her stories, wiped away tears with boxes of kleenex, and it's pretty much the same kind of cycle. Maybe she'll stay single for a while.
A lot of these kinds of people, I think they need to grow out of it or learn it on their own. They can hear words all they want, but their mindset and actions won't change unless they want it to and try.
Answer:
omg lol how can we have the exact same problem ?
i used to console her, but now shes been through the same thing over and over
and ive known since jr high so i juss tell her like it is, shes going to deny it
or act hurt ... but if she knows better, she'll realize ur right
Answer:
Guys want a girl that can handle her own problems and vice versa...
Answer:
yea clinginess is good but depends on how clingy dey are. and give her advice about wat shes doing wrong.
Answer:
yu shuld tell her thou da truth may hurt but its better being told by a friend yu trust den sum dude dat jus dumped yu. gudlucks!! =]
Answer:
you gotta tell her
its either you the best friend
or a guy who tells her straight up
agreed, it's better for the truth to be told by you than other guys
Answer:
i think you should just tell her straight up but in a nice way. better for her to find out from you then from some guy. good luck.
Answer:
dont tell her straight. give her advice, from your point of view.
Answer:
DONT TELL HER. okay, the logical thing to do would be to tell her, but, from the way you described her, she seems like she might get pissed at you for saying something like that, so don't do it. haah.
