Question:
This thing with my BF is getting really old. I'm getting really tired and sick of it. I can't stand it. We've talked about this issue WAY TOO MANY TIMES. I don't know why it is so FREAKEN HARD for him to understand me.
This is the thing. My bf goes to this really big church. Because it's so big, he's only met very few people because he's not involved in the youth group or anything.
What usually (more like ALWAYS) happens whenever we meet a girl (from college) that went to that church...it would be the first time he would be meeting her. But this is how the conversation usually went:
BF: Hey, you're *insert name*'s sister right?
Her: Yea, how did you know?
//Notice, not even a hi or introduction.
BF: Oh, I've seen you guys around at church.
Her: Oh you go to my church? How come I never saw you.
BF: Yea because you go to the early section, I go to the later one.
Her: I see, you should come to the early section too.
BF: Oh yea, you are dating *insert guy's name* right?
Her: Yea, do you know him?
BF: No, I have just seen you guys together. He drives a *insert color* *insert car brand* car right?
Her: Yea......that's him.
Doesn't that sound freaky??????
See, this just really gets to me. When I'm standing there next to him hearing him go on and on about everything he knows about this girl. Seriously...to me, if I was the other girl...I would think he is a stalker. ALSO, as his GF, I feel so unspecial!!!!! If he remembers everything about everyone.......................what makes me different???? ARGHHHHHH (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fury.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fury.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/fury.gif) **BTW, this has happened probably more than 5 times!!!**
It just really ticks me. Wouldn't it tick you? Can you relate??? I'm just really really pissed at him right now because he just can't see where I'M COMING FROM.... (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
I know this was long, thanks for reading.
*EDIT*
I have talked to my BF about this issue. I tell him I don't like it. I already told him that if he happens to know so much about them, to at least not throw out so many little details on the first meeting. I tell him the other girls might find it freaky or think he's a stalker. But his response has always been: Am I you? I'm not, right? Don't try to make me be like you. ----and everytime he has said this, it has always made me think that he was right. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) It made me think...maybe I am just over-reacting.
You guys asked me if he does this to guys. And sadly...he doesn't. Because he had such a good memory about girls...I have already tried to see if he does this to guys too. But apparently he doesn't.
But after reading some of your posts...I guess, some people just observe so much...that they remember little details about random people.....right? I am not one of those people...but I guess I should try to understand those people's perspectives. It's something you can't help, right? Thanks Again everyone.
Answer:
i know what you mean, it is a bit freaky when he starts listing all the things he knows about her...i would get weirded out if someone did that to me. HEaps of guys do that though...they want to seem connected with everyone else, quite immature but i know a few.i think he has harmless intentions though, maybe just trying to meet a few more ppl, more friends etc.
Answer:
er?
maybe he`s trying to get to know ppl?
but yea that is kind of freaky that he knows a lot of little details lol
but i wouldn`t get mad over that...
Answer:
i think you're overreacting, maybe it's just me
Answer:
I am like this. He is just very observant. But then again I am single.
If he means no harm then its just that he is saying everything he sees.
I dont say everything, but I do see a lot of things.
Its better being observant then blind.
Answer:
ask him if he still loves yoh nemore or sumthing.. im not really sure =/
good luckers
Answer:
yea i would get kind of annoyed, but i guess your bf notices a lot of things going on.
Answer:
umm why are you still with him if he can't even remember things about you? but i guess everyone gets a second chance so i would advise you just to talk to him about it.
Answer:
i think you're overreacting, maybe it's just me
I know...maybe you are right. At first, I was okay. 2nd time, I got a little furious...but let it go. After more and more and more times.....I am just getting to the point that I can't take it anymore. To me, it's just really annoying.....and .maybe because I'm jealous too
Answer:
Grow up. So he notices a few details about people and can work those into a conversation, big deal. When you talk to someone, you have to start finding a common grounds to talk about SOMEWHERE. This is probably his trick. You don't feel special is the result of your own insecurities, not his fault. You don't feel special enough that out of all the girls he could've dated, he choose you? I'm not sure how well he treats you but there must've been a few examples where he did something nice to you. Let's focus on those eh? Instead of nit picking on his small trivial flaws (and no, I don't think this is a flaw), please do try to concentrate on his better qualities. I say that to all the nit pickers out there. You're giving the guy unnecessary drama. Grow....up.
Answer:
well...it is kinda creepy he knows alot about other people...
but who knows, maybe he gets around a lot
Answer:
hm iono o_o .. maybe he gets around alot iono .. it doenst seem like a big deal for me ^^;; .. but then again .. it does get a little creepy that he knows a lottt of ppl .. and the details lol
Answer:
that does sound kinda stalkerish for him to know alot about a stranger,
but maybe he`s just trying to be friendly ? he`s not doing anything bad really .. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mellow.gif)
Answer:
isnt hate too strong of a word?
well... i guess the stalking part is right but like what the other people said.. you should be so angry at him.. it's okay to be social.
Answer:
i think ur over reacting jst a tad bit .. i know a lot of ppl who start of convos like that so they can be frends, nothings wrong wid dat ..
Answer:
Grow up. So he notices a few details about people and can work those into a conversation, big deal. When you talk to someone, you have to start finding a common grounds to talk about SOMEWHERE. This is probably his trick. You don't feel special is the result of your own insecurities, not his fault. You don't feel special enough that out of all the girls he could've dated, he choose you? I'm not sure how well he treats you but there must've been a few examples where he did something nice to you. Let's focus on those eh? Instead of nit picking on his small trivial flaws (and no, I don't think this is a flaw), please do try to concentrate on his better qualities. I say that to all the nit pickers out there. You're giving the guy unnecessary drama. Grow....up.
exactly. i myself attend a huge church and i dont go to youth group or anything so im not familiar with a lot of ppl. but to go to church EVERY sunday and see the SAME ppl everytime doing the SAME thing... ur bound to notice and know stuff about others (IMG:style_emoticons/default/huh.gif) and its just his way of finding some common things to keep the convo flowing (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) ur getting so worked up over such a little thing. if you hate ur bf because of that then i say ur bf doesnt deserve you
Answer:
if I were the girl he was talking to, /i'd be scared
Answer:
hahahaha...it seem like ur bf is a stalker who track who ppl is dating
Answer:
haha it's typical that evry guy seems to know what otehr gusy are driving. i dunno...i can see why it would irritate you but juss dun overeact cuz it mite not be as big of a deal
Answer:
it's not wrong to know people....
i know all my friend's boyfriends'/girlfriends' cars & houses & siblings
and i can't find anything wrong with that
i mean, people talk, you hear about people, & if you're a person
that keeps things in your head or have a good memory, then there
you go. you remember what's what and who's who...
i don't think you'd be mad if he knew tons of details 'bout other guys
...try not to overreact?
