Question:
Long story short.
There is a guy. And the guy likes me. And I like the guy. Like, we really connect on a level even though he's three years older than I. We talk about EVERYTHING on the phone and text each other practically 24/7 [yes, my parents are going to be furious this month when my phone bill comes in but that's okay]. And I'm supposed to meet up with him tomorrow in the late afternoon too.
But I've been asking myself, how do I know when I'm ready for a relationship? I really do adore him, and I really like him and I absolutely enjoy his company. Every single minute of it. I cherish our phone conversations, and my heart skips a beat whenever I see that my phone has a text message from him. However, at the same time, doubts fill my mind.
I'm a full time college student, always swamped with textbook readings and chapter outlines, and not to mention two jobs on top of that. It gets really hectic from time to time, and I barely have enough time to sleep these days. I really do want to date him and be with him, yet at the same time I think I would make a horrible girlfriend. I really would.
So to those who have pretty decent long relationships with their significant others, what do you guys usually do? How do you guys put it out? And how do you know when you're ready for a relationship?
Please don't respond with stupid comments like You just do. or Then don't go out with him.
Thanks~
Answer:
i was in the same situation as you are in 3 years ago (okay okay, i only had one job to deal with). on top of that, it was long distance. and i was very hestitant about starting a relationship for all those reasons, even though he kept insisting we should at least try. and so we did.
to be honest, there were times when i did have to choose between him and some other priority (schoolwork, hanging out with friends, etc). since i only had time over thanksgiving breaks, winter breaks, spring breaks, i was often visiting him (4 hr plane ride) when i had midterms when i came back. and i definitely did horrible on those tests because of that.
safe to say i wasn't ready for a relationship at that point. if i could do it all over, there are some things i would've changed. i think the first thing you should do is make him aware of the limited time you have to spend with him. if he understsands and accepts that, number two would be planning out how you would schedule your days. for example, you can't possibly be with him during all 5 weekdays, so how many would you allow yourself so you could still get studying done. you should also set some groundrules like how many hours on the phone each day. if you guys get into a fight, how would that affect your schoolwork, especially if it's before a big test?
i think if you and him can both understand and agree to some rules, then you're ready.
Answer:
it's the prologue to the relationship that's exciting, and usually girls are way above the clouds to even realized her true feeling (or whatever she wants).
How long have you known him? and how long has this intense text-ing and conversation on the phone has been?
usually, i would let it sit for at least 3 months, then only i know if i trully like him or it's just an infatuation or the thrill of having someone new caring and sweet-talked me.
you know...new guy attracted to you and start to ask you such caring questions like have you had your dinner yet? or even don't sleep so late at night, i don't want you to get sick or i really like your smile
it makes you head over heels.
But if it can last at least 3 months, i think it's time.
so..that's my opinion, but you know..relationships are different with different people, some hit it off after the first meeting, so there's no exact numbers to it.
For me, it's wait and see.
For the long distance thingy, it all comes back to your preferences of relationship. I only agree to long dist. if i know that we are going to the same direction and eventually will be together again. My longest was 6 months (with my current bf) and now we're together again. How? someone has to give in and make the relationship works. So i quit my job and start my own in the same city with him.
But before i do all this, i have to know that i do this because i want to, and 25% only because he was there, IF (god forbid) we were to break-up, i don't want to be sorry for quitting my job to be near him.
i'm a logic person.
