Question:
So here's the story. This is gonna be long (IMG:style_emoticons/default/vicx.gif)
My friend's name is Alex. We are really close and we basically do almost everything together. His mom also likes (or liked, to be exact) me a lot.
Her problem, however, is that she can't keep her mouth SHUT. To be honest, she has an annoying personality and my mom does not like her either (they're friends as well). My friend's mom has a problem with noticing every single bit of your flaw and basically telling it to... your mom, which is my mom.
First, she told my mom of unnecessary things about me, and I tried to ignore it for a while. Later, it eventually became worse as she told my mom bad things about me that SHE noticed. Recently, she told my mom that I am a bad influence to her son because I talk to my mom back and her son did not talk back to his own mom at all until he met me (she has a thing for blaming other people).
Things she told my mom?
1) My eyebrows are ugly (speechless...)
2) My eating manner is not the most lady-like
3) Don't expect anything from your daughter when she grows up because she's cold-hearted.
4) As mentioned already, I am a bad influence.
Honestly, the situation is more complicated than it seems and I don't know what to do. I am mad because I think she does not have any right to tell my mom about those kind of things. Secondly, she does that to everyone she knows. I am not the only one who gets bashed. Thirdly, it really angers me that she won't even say a thing IN FRONT OF ME. If she has a problem with how I behave or how I look (yes, she did criticize about my appearance), she should talk to ME. In fact, she says how I am such a nice person and all that meaningless crap.
I really don't know what to do because I obviously don't want to confront her (since it's rude to confront an adult). I can't tell my friend either because he will obviously tell HIS mom.
I don't want to simply ignore it because whenever I see her I am going to be uncomfortable around her.
I need an advice (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif)
Is there any way to resolve this conflict without making a huge drama out of this?
Answer:
SOUNDS LIKE MY FRIEND'S MOM
let me tell you. you gotta just ignore it.
that's all i do
i mean, yeah, my friend's mom is a pinkberry and stuff, but whatever,
i don't talk to her all that much HAHA.
hang in there and fight the trashtalk! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Answer:
After you say Hi to her, lock yourself in your room so u don't see her. My aunty is exactly the same....I really don't like her and when she comes over I just bow and say hello then i'll just go to my room.
Or
Ask her why is there a particular thing on her face whereas your mum doesn't have it? LOL if u want to be mean...it might embarrass her abit and she MIGHT tone down with the critizing BUT it might worsen.
Answer:
wow, what a hater. my mom dislikes all my girl friends, but has her way of keeping a good image so doesn't tell people about it. (except my bro & i.) she tells us not to hang out with people she sees as bad influences. or because they're not decent looking. & we get pissed cause she knows nothing & is judging way to quickly. i mean, our friend obviously has something good about him/her if we're friends with them, you know? moms are really annoying when they want to be.
your friend, alex, should say something to her. does he know about the shiz she says about you?
Answer:
it's okay. One of my good friend's mom
she's like. So picky
she goes through my friend's history and she found my xanga (where I was camwhoring on) and she was talking to my best friend about it
and talking about how she's gonna fix me up
wtf is that?
Answer:
My parents are like this.
They talk about how good my friends are and compares them to me.
Then they start telling me how they are a bad influence and all that.
And they say this crap they made up to me to make me do one thing or another.
And I hate when they blame my friends for things they didn't do. They just like making up stuff and it's stupid and gets me mad. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/mad.gif)
My advice: If your mom doesn't agree with your friend's mom, I suggest you ask your mom to talk to your friend's mom and MAKE HER STOP!
Answer:
ouch. i feel you, because i had a (really not very close) friend whose mom was something like that. everytime i saw her, which was thankfully not often, she'd find something subtly nasty to say to me -- about my lack of height compared to my family, lack of prospects compared to her daughter (i.e., my daughter just got accepted to an ivy league school! what are YOU doing? when she knew i was taking time off from school), that kind of thing. she made both her daughters get eyefold surgery. can you imagine your own mom telling you that you need to get your face fixed?
but the thing is, no one likes this woman. my korean friends think she's warped, my parents can't stand her, and i just wonder how her daughters can deal with this insecure catty witch at all. to me she represents all the worst parts of the korean american community. so i don't take her seriously; obviously she has crazy issues and probably a lot of self-hate if she can talk so much trash about everyone around her.
i don't think you should bother confronting the woman; from what you say, i can't see anything good coming out of it. try not to pay attention to anything she says, because there's no reason you should respect her opinion in the least. it only becomes an issue if your friend starts to distance himself from you as a result, or if your mom believes what she has to say about you.
Answer:
oh ho that's my aunt!! lol she does that but i don't really have a problem with it because my mom actually defends me.
talk to your mom about your problem with it and maybe she could try to talk to your friend's mom about not critizing her own daughter aka you politely, or you wanna do it the bolder way? ask your mom to critize your friend with his mom hahah but this is a last option idea since it's stooping to your friend's mom's level. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
