Question:
Keep in mind that i am not a high school student and that i am in college... haha although this may sound a bit on the immature side... i wrote it so that this thread is bearable for kids who are younger than me...
okay.. I need to vent this out and i am about to go crazy cause i need guidance since my friends are not really here since they are all away in college...
ohkay so, I met this kid in one of my classes. He ended up sitting behind me and we just started to hit it off pretty well. It was obvious he was interested in me and i was interested in him. However, it was really passive for two months and then recently these past few weeks, i got a chance to really talk to him, get his number, and text message him all throughout the weekend and blah blah blah [you get the flow]. It was really good for a while and i felt like i was finally able to get into a new relationship.
However, the more i talked to him the more i feel awkward and uncomfortable... And all of the sudden i started to lose the interest that i had for him. Little by little, i realized he was a totally different person from what i had imagined..[not much in a bad way] In the end he ended up not being my type. Now, every time he calls i feel so annoyed... Also in school i purposely like circumspect the area before i go to the other buildings for my classes... i cant think straight in class cause of him...
I seriously feel so immature doing this, and i had been really hesitant about this relationship so i didnt tell anyone... and this is why i am coming to you guys for advice...BEcause you guys don't know me personally... i believe advice, opinions, and criticisms will be a lot more efficient. Friends will stick by me even though i am wrong, and i dont need pity from friends, i need answers...
Our relationship isnt serious, but i have him in my class and i will have him in my class next semester because we are in some college program together. Even though i only see him twice a week, i feel so burdensome. He thinks i like him and i feel horrible for ignoring his phone calls and messages. I just feel guilty that i led him along this whole time and i am just dropping him without a real reason except for the fact that i dont like him.
But the water has already been spilled, the feeling wont come back...
and this guilt trip is killing me seriously...
We are so different in so many ways. Number one we are culturally different, and our differences really clash. And one of the reasons why i lost interest is because of this dilemma. We were brought up in two different environments and everything we believed in constantly clashes... so its hard to have a decent conversation with him...
I dont have the courage to tell him that i have no feelings for him... and i know ignoring won't be justifiable... You guys don't know how many ways i consider myself so immature being that i am like twenty and i ignore a guys phone call and i can't talk to him without the feeling of tension...
SO
What can i say so it won't hurt him and make me look bad?
But am i really bad for losing interest so fast?
Answer:
I have the same problem! I'm trying to figure out how to say it without hurting the person's feelings..but I'm beginning to realize there's no way to do that without telling the truth. so just be honest and tell him straightforward that you're not interested in him anymore, and if you want, you rather be friends. and no, you're not bad for losing interest. we can't just all get along so there are going to be people you have no interest in whatsoever and that's totally okay. hope i helped ^^
Answer:
mmz...just talk to him like usual
dont need to go out of your way to ignore him and such...
but just slowly drop hints that ur not interested in him anymore..
and talk to him lesss and stuff
like when u talk with him,, dont smile or look like ur enjoying urself...
and yeh.. in time... he will get the hint
Answer:
I have the same problem! I'm trying to figure out how to say it without hurting the person's feelings..but I'm beginning to realize there's no way to do that without telling the truth. so just be honest and tell him straightforward that you're not interested in him anymore, and if you want, you rather be friends. and no, you're not bad for losing interest. we can't just all get along so there are going to be people you have no interest in whatsoever and that's totally okay. hope i helped ^^
Yeah that's right. If you don't tell him, you will end up getting really really annoyed and may not want to talk to him at all.
Answer:
You're not bad for losing interest fast, I would say it was actually very naive of you to jump in without actually considering whether you actually like this person - especially as you consider yourself to be a lot older, these are silly mistakes.
I'm actually confused as to what this is that you two have, if its clear he likes you and thinks its mutual then make it clear. Don't avoid his phonecalls, don't look down a corridor to see if hes there so you can make the nearest exit because thats rude and harsh.
Be straight and honest. Thats the best thing you can do, hey I see you as a friend - what can you accuse him of? Liking you? What can others accuse you of? Running away from a situation, bad manners and immaturity.
This isn't a bash, I'm not saying you're a bad person, although you're very liable to being one at the moment.
Good luck.
Answer:
losing interest fast, i don' htink it's bad..
it's kind of difficult to fully know somebody unless you've gotten
to know them for a period of time..
if he's not your type, hten just keep chilling with him
but treat him like you would your friend..
and dto.. (define the relationship) with him..
if you don't define it.. then he make keep pursuing
even if you do define it he might puruse..
and in that instance it's out of your hand and not your problem
Answer:
i dont think you should try so hard to avoid him...i dont think you should feel so guilty or bad about it either. i think that's the immature part. you should just talk to him and be yourself and that itself should get the point across that you don't like him like that. good luck!
Answer:
Hahaha...that's happened to me before. it's basically the same story. It got to the point where he finally got the message and stopped trying to talk to me. I feel completely immature for doing it, but i didn't know what else to do. -___-. Everytime i think about it, i feel really stupid for jumping into something so fast, but whatever. Can't do anything to fix it now.
Answer:
well....i never had that happen to me ^^ But whenever a boy likes me...ermmm.....I don't plan to date o.0 like all the other girls in my school....yet....cause seriously...none of them take it seriously, and If I had to....id wait until I think hes the one^^ ....other than that i ignore them. yeah. im meeannnn.....sooo.....yeah.......im sorta like u...except my problems different.
Answer:
What you need to do is simple: for example if you talk to him on AIM or watever dont IM him first of at all put him in a way that u dont c him online. Also dont text message him if he txt messages u then u can either wait a LONG time to txt him back or just tell him when you c him sorry can you please not txt me anymore cause my cell plan doesnt give it to me for free and i get charged an arm and a leg and your sending me to the poor house, so anyway ill ttyl i got to go. somethin like that this limits how he talks to you. Also if you see him in school dont go outta ur way to avoid him be yourself walk like you normally do and if you c him or vice versa then wat u do is just say a basic hi and then smile and walk along. If he stops to talk to you or such say im sorry im in a hurry i got (either a class or a group project or studying to work on). The whole point of this is that eventually he will also lose interest and your seeing eachother will be just hi and thats it. This is what will set u back at ease so you can feel comfortable in ur everyday life.
Answer:
Ughh that is happening to me too, cept this guy is in college and I'm still in high school =X
How do you bring something like that up if he just won't take a hint? We never seem to have the kind of conversation that leads into that sort of thing and it would make it even more awkward if I jumped into it out of the blue...
Answer:
well obviously you might be mature age wise,
but not mature in relationships. you`re just not ready and that`s fine.
just tell him you aren`t ready for a relationship yet.
what else can you do?
ignoring and and avoiding is childish.
Answer:
Tell him straight up that youre not interested.
Answer:
you're definitely not bad/at fault for losing interest so fast.
the best way is to tell him directly that you have no feelings for him.
if you still want to keep him as a friend, then make sure he understands that as well. since the relationship isn't that serious, i think he will be able to get over it faster than if you keep leading him on now (by not telling him anything and ignoring him).
Answer:
you cant go far with ignoring and avoiding.
just tell him straight up.
or at least hint to him in the least subtle way/
Answer:
Just treat him like you would any friend
No special attention, etc.
He'll get the idea one day... hopefully.
No need to lose a friend because of this
andd make class awkward and unbearable.
