Question:
ok..im sooo confused as to what i should do right now..ive been with my bf for a year now. however, my mom doesn't agree to it because i'm in university, and he's not........u know how asian moms are..they think university's the bbbbbbbest place EVER..and she just says things like..he's not gonna be a gd husband..he's not gonna make lots of money.......(but his family is reaaaally rich..but thats not y i like him)...but i really really really like him...and i broke up with him once because of all the pressures from my mom and stuff, but we went back together again afterwards..and i really cant let go again for the second time! =(.....it's getting to the point where i just want to run away from home and everything..like..i used to talk on the phone with him with my cell...and she says NO because it costs money..so she tells me to use home phone..so i'm like..alright, i'll just the home phone. now she's like..NO dont talk so much..just 5 mins per week is enough..so im just like..NO...
i really have no idea what i should do because..i really dont want to hide it from her..and she always remind me that : i gave birth to u and took care of u for 18 yrs and this is how u repay me ?!?!!? argh...what should i dooooo? and my parents tell me that its MY fault that i'm with him and everything's my fault..u know how it makes u feel...when everyone tells u that everything's ur fault?...........i just wanted to dieeeeeee.....i really wanna be with him............and i always hear people say like...just do what u want and dont let people say NO to you...................but its so hard because..ahhhhhhhhhhhalkerjtlkjra..........guys..help me......?
Answer:
breakup with him. he sounds like an ass anyways.
Answer:
I still get the same thing from my parents and I've been with my bf for 4+ years.
Yea, it's crazy. They still don't approve of him. I'm worried because.........when he leaves to Japan next year for an entire year, I think my parents are going to try to brainwash me to lose him (but my bf IS a college student....so err, yea).
Though you may care a lot about your bf, just once...........listen to your mom's advice........i mean, REALLY listen to it...not FOLLOW it, but listen to it. Try to be in her shoes watching her daughter date this guy who doesn't attend college and probably doesn't have a bright future.
Think as if you were your mom. Once you understand where she's coming from, you might realize if being with your bf is really worth it? Maybe, encourage him to go to school, get a good job, whatever. You know, you have to think about this stuff if you really LOVE him as you say.
Answer:
aiyah...i think most of the time i had a bf...my parents didnt know about it...
unless they pretended not to know?
but i think they found out once and got mad...
theyd give me the its time for school not relationships speech
but id say stay with him of course! loves all that matters
Answer:
Well...
You gotta think in your mom's position. It's not just about the present. But it's about the future, too. If you end up being with him and living with him, how is he going to support you financially? Even if he comes from a rich family, what if his parents completely cut him off? Who's going to help you pay for the bills? Your mom just wants the best for you. She wants you to have a brighter future with someone who can be there for you not only emotionally, but financially, too. It may be unfair for her to do this, but she wants the best for you.
And I'd like to point out that it's not only Asian moms that think university is the best. It's every mom. University... is a good place to get a diploma and follow the career path that you want.
If you really say you love your boyfriend, then you should encourage him to get on with going to school, etc, like 4ever_sweet said, because this will affect his future later on. If you really love him, you would care enough to tell him to do something for the benefit of himself. If you really love him, you'd want the best for him (which goes back to having a better future, etc). Don't let him fall into something he'll regret later on.
Answer:
maybe you should encourage your bf to go to college... it's never too late & it is true that he won't be successful and he won't be able to take care of you. even if he's rich, he should still finish up college & get a decent job. if he cares about himself & for you as well, he would do that. talk to him about it.
Answer:
sometimes, no matter how blindly in love you are... sometimes your parents are right. (i'm not saying they are in your case - i'm just covering both sides of the story)
i've been blindly in love before - i thought she was one of the best girls ever... how wrong i was!! but being in love i thought she was all that. my friends and family disapproved, but i didn't care about their opinions, and because they're scared of my displeasure they didn't voice their own opinions too strongly (because they knew i wouldn't listen to them).
but in the end, after i broke up with her.... i look back now and realize that i would have been a miserable guy if i had stayed with her. she really was a nutjob. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
ok.... assuming that your bf IS a good choice... i think that your mom is super picky and being b1tchy about the issue. My mom was HORRIBLE about things like that. She wouldn't let me receive ANY girls' phone calls AT ALL!! when girls tried to call me, she'd pick up the phone.. and ask them how they know me.. and tell them not to call me again!! how scary must that be for the girl? hehehe... i studied in an all boys school, so i don't know the girls who called my house (scary mom, huh?)
so, having a mom like that, let me tell you... some parents are OVERprotective... and they are controlling (they think that because they gave birth to you, they hold some sort of RIGHT over you)...
if my mom ever pulls that i gave birth to you and this is how you repay me line... i'll just bite back with a Did i ASK you to give birth to me? Did i ASK you to bring me into this godforsaken planet? You and dad just decided all by yourselves that you wanted a baby and so you selfishly did - to make YOURSELVES happy!...... so don't give me that I gave birth to you, so you owe me line! If anything, I have a right to be angry with you two for bringing me against my will into this existence/planet marked by poverty and war and sadness and conflict...... and now that you've brought me here, at least let me LIVE my life how I choose; don't try to control my life with a remote-control.. I'm not your puppet. I have a mind, a heart, and a seperate existence. Recognize me as an individual with his own feelings, views, desires, and dreams - and not as your toy.
something like that (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) hahahaha...
u gotta stand up to your parents sometime (without starting an all-out war)... everyone goes thru their rebellion phase where they defy their parents and give them HELL. usually happens at around/during 15-21 years old - piercings, boyfriends, disappearing from home, threating to committ suicide, drugs, beer, cigarettes.. etc etc etc...
Answer:
maybe you should encourage your bf to go to college... it's never too late & it is true that he won't be successful and he won't be able to take care of you. even if he's rich, he should still finish up college & get a decent job. if he cares about himself & for you as well, he would do that. talk to him about it.
ditto.
and if he doesn't listen and just wants to fall back on his family money...dump him. that kind of guy is not worth being with.
Answer:
my mom married my dad whos rich but his dumb..
he inherited the money and he blew it all off and he became poor..
he may have money but he may not have the brains etc.. yeh tell him to go to college and he shouldnt be too reliable to his parents
theres only 1 thing that are sure in life, Death. u will ALWAYS have them but other things, are not sure. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) so yeh if he wants to maintain his richness, he gotta do whats best for himself and you
Answer:
definitely though.... make sure you persuade your bf to go to university!!!
he might be fine for now... but once he enters the WORKING world... he will soon find out how tough life is.
a university degree will really help him in the real world.
Answer:
Think of the situation from your mom's perspective. Sure he may be rich now, but what about later on in life? Things are uncertain. She only want what is somewhat secure for you. Why not encourage your bf to go to a uni?
Answer:
it is difficult when it comes to parents. Of course there's nothing wrong with your mom, she loves you, of course she would do that.
From what i read, you didn't even mention of how he treats you (i don't know if it's unintentionally, but i don't sense him trying to make it work)
If...and i say if, he really wants to be with you, he has to make it work,and not just you. If he knows that's how your mom feels, he should've done something to make himself worthy in your mom's eyes.
If instead of going to university he's got a job, a proper job, i think your mom isn't going to oppose too much.
relationship works when both parties make it work.
