Question:
there was this guy i've been mentioning lately .
i missed his call once he gave me an attitude when i called back next day and things were never the same/
he turned cold and he began to become all calm with me .(say hi , welcoming smile , becoming distant , he became SO NICE , he was SO GENTLEMAN it would freak YOU out)
ONE DAY ALL OF A SUDDEN - he changed again.(came closer to me physically) he began teasing me again .
when i first met him he teased me too and i said 'why do you always tease me- is it because you hate me?' and he said in a little voice 'no i tease you because i like you.'
but now it's worse than ever. it's like being mean AND teasing me. like i was in class with him and for no apparent reason at all he started poking me with his pen. so i poked him back and i kicked him lightly , i know .. i'm not aggressive enough . i moved my desk all the way to the window spot away from him and he reached my desk and kicked it with his leg a little . and then i asked to look at his answers cause i was done . obviously i'm smarter than him and i know i'll get a higher grade . and he whispered 'this is a test bubble gum' while he's letting the bigger guy next to him copy off him - stupid.
i looked at him and said 'i hand it in already' i SO bet he wouldnt let me look at his paper cause he's embarrassed he get everything wrong.
he stuck his middle finger out at me . maybe some will remember he mouthed the word'john tesh you' to me before and i got all offended by it and ignored him for a whole freakin day then regret it. cause he was joking around . well this time .... i repeated the same mistake . i dont know if it's his mistake or my mistake anymore. well i kinda never told him why i was pissed the first time . this time i ignored him again . I said 'I Hate You' and he was like 'Fine.' we left the classroom without looking back at each other . later on in the day i saw him again and he was looking at me purposely sitting near us . then he switch spots with his friend . and his friend seemed to be listening on to my conversation with my girlfriends and then he turned to the guy and they whispered toeach other ... about what? i dont know but i have a feeling it was about me. then later on i saw him again while i was with my guy friend . he said 'you're not even going to say hi to me?' i was walking away anyways so i pretend i didnt hear it .
i mean who would have the GUTS to even say hi to you .. you are SO MEAN. well no - i'm the ONLY person he treats this way ... maybe cause he HATES me now??
did i mention he's known as a player . he's not really a player .. just flirt around with girls alot and making scenes with them like the scenes you see in a movie . he grabbed my hand once and ran with me to the bus stop . but i know better than to even THINK he and i have a chance . so i just want to have him as a friend.(he's freakin CONCEITED , at times it KILLS me)
but anyways i told him i dont like him that way cause he was so convinced that i did . it so happens he told me .. i'm the first person to ever say that to him . whatever . i know like 30+ girls that are madly in love with him and would do anything for him . Not Me. but also the things is i DO like him because he help me out a lot and this is the guy i said i have a 'connection' with because we had similar past . but i didnt turn out as flirty and a bubble gum like he did!
yesterday we walked to class together. after i said bye to him i wait for him to leave but he stood there like he was thinking real hard whether to do something or not. he stood ther for like 10 seconds after we said bye to each other and i turned around about to ask him 'what' and there i was wrapped in his arms. he hugged me for what seemed like a long time. we almost lost balance and i stepped back .. hadnt i step back we would have both fell on the floor .. until i said 'this's sexual harrassment' he let go and said 'fine fine' then went to class. he hugged me for no reason and i was taken by complete surprise . and he looked So Happy .. you could see the light in his eyes
so why today It All Change again? he's sometimes act cold and the next day he would be so friendly and nice (this after the first time i missed his call and then told him off for saying he called me cause he was bored again and i made it CLEAR i don't like him that way.. hey i'm not going to be like all the other girls cause i know it's a trap . he's just flirting around. i just want to be friends , is that so hard for him? he can't stand 1 girl not liking him . he cant expect the whole world to fall for him). can this be explained?
Answer:
lol i didnt read all of it i read like half of it. yes i admit, some of us (including myself) are very stupid and self centered sometimes. We often assume things and usually that is just an illusion of what is really happening. i saw give him some time and talk to him again maybe that will help
Answer:
time? i'm trying to give him time .......... i've been doing what i'm suppose to do as an individual but he keeps butting in lol it's like not something i can control -.-;; he just comes to me
edit: and we can't seem to get into this talking mode again . it's always him teasing , me fighting back .. maybe tomorrow i'll let him tease me and not do anything about it .
Answer:
i can't really tell what he's thinking since i don't know him. to me, it sounds like one of the two:
1) either he likes you and doesn't know what to do next - so he tries being overly nice, then joking, then a little mean too.. then friendly etc... this happened to me too when I liked a girl..
2) or, as you say, he just can't stand a girl not liking him and he wants your attention as well...
but, my questions really is:
why are you so bothered about him that you posted a huge 987 words post about it? doesn't that hint that you yourself like him deep down, but are refusing to admit it to yourself cause you know he's a player. perhaps you would admit to yourself that you like him - if he wasn't so friendly with other girls? are u sure that you're not jealous of the fact that he's popular with other girls (and 30+ girls would die to be with him)? are u sure that your i hate you sentence wasn't just a defiant statement to him to tell him that you are not charmed by him?
also... it could be that he knows you like him, but are trying to hide it (even to yourself). so maybe he's trying to get you to admit it to yourself?
Answer:
hmm idk, you like this guy right? maybe he doesn't really kno how to get your true feelings to him, maybe he wants to find out you like him or not and doesnt kno how to say it? i hope this helps you lol =p
Answer:
he likes to flirt. I wouldn't be surprised if he was doing that with other girls. haha running from girl to girl..i also wouldn't be surprised that alot of other girls that know him feel the same way you do.
Answer:
hahah i've heard about that too and i personally witnessed it before i met him . but i dont see it anymore . my friends tell me he flirts with others girls but when i'm there he stops doing it . they've been trying to get me to catch him red handed but whenever they lead me to where they normally see him flirting with other girls suddenly he'll act it off real cool or leave the girls and blend with the bunch of guy friends . but my friends were like 'he's not like that to her before . he was playing with her hair and blah blah blah etc etc' (honestly i cant be bothered by being late to class because they pull me somewhere to catch him ... besides i KNOW about it already.)
yea i cant deny i like him but i just want a friendship , he's not the type of guy you'd want a relationship with . he would be a great friend if he was willing to look at a female as just a friend . but he has this mentality that all the girls must like him. so if you have no desire to get him or chase after him he's no longer interested even 'friendship-wise'
ps... i'm glad i'm having a bunch of guys point of view here .. its a lot of help .. greatly appreciated =)
Answer:
woah, if he's playing with other girls' hair... forget him!
being friendly is one thing, but playing with a girl's hair is getting a little touchy. if he's like that with all girls, he's definitely a bad choice for a bf.
the only guys that I see that are THAT close with girls - are ALL GAY. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
btw, I don't even see a point in keeping him as a friend... cause I get a feeling that the touchy-feely attitude he has might progress further south when his male-hormones start kicking in. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif)
Answer:
haha i just read that part about him being so touchy with girls..yeah maybe he is insecure with himself. Does he have many guy friends? Maybe by flirting with so many girls, and trying to get your attention, he might be trying to cover up his true colors. hahah..
Answer:
i want him as a friend but he wants me to like him too
that playing with hair thing was like the day i met him(not to defend him but honestly i havent been hearing that anymore . now it's just talking to girls in such a way and flirting with the eyes) . i started hearing all these rumors . lol a lot of girls hate him so a lot of bad rumors go around about him . and EVERY GIRL i know reminds me constantly after they see him with me that 'he's just messing you with you . dont fall for it . he did it to so-and-so and he's doing it to you . DONT FALL FOR IT . HE DOESNT LIKE YOU . IT'S ALL FAKE IT's ALL LIES. now they're telling me ' he did change a little , who knows maybe he is for real this time . but still .. watch out . once he gets what he cant have , he wont want it anymore. the way you look at each other or talk to each other it's like you both understand each other so deeply . sure he flirts with other girls but with you .. it's just different' --- which is proof right there that i was caught by him too . DUDE when my friends change from THEY'RE ALL LIES to IT COULD BE TRUE .... it gets me thinking . but in the end i just want to be friends ..thats where the basics is supopoe to be right? then we decide whether to stay friends or go on . BUT THIS GUY WANTS EVERYONE TO BE IN LOVE WITH HIM AT FIRST SIGHT. makes it hard for me to carry on with him.
i know what he's like on the inside . he told me all about his past . it could relate to mine .. thats how the connection started . he said once 'do you ever get the feeling that no one cares?' .. i dunno he feels we're similar too? he discussed a little about this before . and then i found out we both been to a therapist before and we were both under long term depression in the past . and he said 'don't worry you're not alone'
now i'm confused .... how does he think??
Answer:
to be honest i didnt read the whole thing. its predictable.
you like him. but you wont admit it. its all in the subconscious.
he likes you. but he doesnt know how to express it.
bla bla.
if it annoys you that much. talk to him.
Answer:
i keep seeing 'john tesh' in a lot of threads and i don't know what it means...
anyone wanna define what it means?
anyway, i think you should ignore this guy for awhile and see what happens...maybe he'll confess or something. i'm sorry, i'm not very good at this.
Answer:
1) i want him as a friend but he wants me to like him too [::|:|::] BUT THIS GUY WANTS EVERYONE TO BE IN LOVE WITH HIM AT FIRST SIGHT.
2) a lot of girls hate him so a lot of bad rumors go around about him . and EVERY GIRL i know reminds me constantly after they see him with me that 'he's just messing you with you . dont fall for it . he did it to so-and-so and he's doing it to you .
3) when my friends change from THEY'RE ALL LIES to IT COULD BE TRUE .... it gets me thinking . but in the end i just want to be friends ..thats where the basics is supopoe to be right? then we decide whether to stay friends or go on .
4) i know what he's like on the inside . he told me all about his past . it could relate to mine .. thats how the connection started . he said once 'do you ever get the feeling that no one cares?' .. i dunno he feels we're similar too? he discussed a little about this before . and then i found out we both been to a therapist before and we were both under long term depression in the past . and he said 'don't worry you're not alone'
5) now i'm confused .... how does he think??
1) these two things tell me - he's a real arrogant ba5tard, isn't he? who does he think he is - Choi Si Won? how much more arrogant can he get?
... and you! how can you lie to yourself and keep on saying i want him [this arrogant prick who thinks he's God's gift to women] to be my friend! ?? You must be really deluded if you want such an arrogant prick to be your friend. Most people, like me, would just say what the fock does he think he is? ignore him!
2) listen to your friends' advice - if they are your real friends. Specially if they know that he did something like this to girls in the past. (the only time you should not listen to their advice is if you know that their advice is biased - i.e if they themselves like the guy, or in case they dont know the guy at all and are making assumptions). Usually, you should trust your friends.
3) but in the end i just want to be friends ..thats where the basics is supopoe to be right? hahaha... you just admitted to us why you want to be his friend - it's because you believe that friendship is the basics (first-step) towards starting a relationship.
4) Sorry to disappoint you... but almost everyone in the world, as they are growing up... feels like 'do you ever get the feeling that no one cares?' ... and also, everybody suffers depression - when their mother dies ,or they have a bad breakup, or their parents divorce... try to find something more substantial like if you believe in the same things - have similar dreams - have the same priorities in life - enjoy the same food etc - or are both of your parents divorced - or do you both enjoy cooking? etc. as i said, everyone gets depressed, and everyone feels lonely and unloved.
5) No one on this forum can answer the question how does he think? because no one on this forum has met him. You cannot generalize guys!!! Forget your girl magazines and your female generalizations of men. the only thing that connects us guys is that 1) we get horny, and 2) we enjoy videogames 3) we are all searching for the woman/man of our dreams!. ... everything else depends on the individual guy (his habits, his personality, his beliefs etc). Frankly, I have no idea what his real intentions might be.
Finally - admit it to yourself. You like this guy... but you don't want to be hurt. And you don't want him to know that you like him because you know that that is what he wants. Maybe deep inside you think that if he knows i like him, he will lose interest in me. So maybe trying to be his friend is the way to get closer to him without him losing interest in you?
Simply, let's put it this way: What woman in the world would not enjoy having a guy be interested-in/running-after her when there's 30+ girls who would just die to be with him? Do you really expect us to believe that you don't enjoy his attention?
(Personally, from #1... if this guy is so arrogant as to want girls to fall in love with him - he needs someone to disfigure his face : to lower his ego and teach him some humility)
Answer:
He's a PLAYER!!!
Players like to mess around with feelings and they're just plain confusing.
Are you worried about what he thinks because you like him? Maybe you're falling for him just like all the other girls...
And no...I don't think he hates? you...more like he's flirting with you real hard.
Answer:
1)i dont enjoy it because he's teasing me and by cursing at me shows me he's totally disrespecting me ... guys cursing are a big No-No for me. how would you feel if he's a gentleman to all the girls and you're the only one he treats this way?
2)we've all been through hard times but how many of us actually goes to the point of taking pills and cutting themself? . to be honest all the girls that like him . and we've turned to therapists and psychologists for help . how many of you actually gone to that point . it took him years on pills when he finally went to church and told the doctors he can handle it without the medication. and what we have in common was we've been through enough to say we've gone through much more than a lot of other people . this doesnt need to be questioned. we understand deeply what it is like to live each other's lives since our situations and event are similar . we generally are alike ... he's known as the male version of me... this came about because the way we think , the vibe we give off is the same .
3) yes he has a lot of flaws , nobody is perfect , but i love him because i see him as a guy who loves to have fun a little too much but inside he's warm and caring , just nobody sees him in his own shoes . everybody looks as him as 'potential boyfriend' and all the friends i've mentioned has liked him before simply cause he flirted with them in the past and they just cant let it go. i just dont like the way he hide who he truly is . and you can say that he's messing around with all the girls for 'fun' because he's insecure .
4)i can not admit it to him because even though we are alike in many ways this guy is not boyfriend material . i'd rather keep a good friend but like many people say who knows what'll happen in the future . people do change.(which goes back to why i said it's the first stage if it's not the one and only stage) but without friendship nothing will be established . problem is he wants to be friend but in order for the girl is be his friend he must know for sure she has some kind of desire for him. and for me to admit it will totally ruin the balance of the friendship cause he's gonna think he has the advantage over me just because i like him. this is why i can not admit to him. it's not because i'm afraid he'll lose interest. more because i'm afraid we'll lose balance. what's a real friendship when one is submissive?
i'm not sure if you'll understand . i never said i didnt i just said i'm not confessing cause there is no point in confessing. but basically i'm just wondering why would you be cold the a person one day and so friendly the next. why is he messing like that? to the other girls he's gentleman all the way
note: i don't read magazines -.-;;
Answer:
he cusses at you and swears at you and disrespects you. and you want to be his friend, cause you know he's not really like that deep inside? and you're the only one he treats this way? what a double-standard! this guy is a focking prick!
let me just speak my mind about this: you don't need to be his friend. all you need is for him to stop giving yout sh1t, and start treating you normally. Don't even concern yourself with a fockhead like him.
if he understands you sooooo deeply, and you have this deep mutual understanding of each other's life - then why does he treat you like sh1t... all things considered, he should be your bestest friend in the world - cause it seems that you're the one girl who can understand him (while the others just like him for his looks and charm). [yes, i'm being a little sarcastic - cause i don't think i'll like him even if you defend him]
i get saddened by seeing girls over and over falling for these bad guys or flirts etc... because they see a spot of kindness in his heart, because they think that he's actually a good guy inside, you know? it's just that no-one understands him. ... they think that they can somehow change him - and maybe they can, for just a little while... but it always turns out with a broken heart. and then what do girls do? they cry and sob about what a prick he was and go on soompi and write about how horrible and mean he was (and she didn't realize until too late). i've seen it happen over and over and over and over.. enough to make me puke. and i have a feeling the same thing is starting to happen to you.
though, the funny thing is - girls don't seem to EVER appreciate good guys UNTIL they get burned by the bad guy first. then they finally realize what qualities to look for in a guy. seen this happen too many times. too many. makes me want to puke at the stupidity of human nature.
also, a little thought aside (about depression):
ummm... i understand that not all people have fallen into depression enough to cut their hands - but i have. and no, i didn't do it to kill myself. it was self-mutilation because the pain of the flesh was the only thing that could give me a moment to think about something else - other than the painful memories and depressing darkness in my head and my burning hot mind. the pain felt so sweet compared to the inner hell that i laughed while i cut my flesh. crazy? for sure. i went through 3 years of depression and drugs. and no matter how many times i hit rock bottom i NEVER tried to committ suicide. to me, that's the whiner's road - the quitter's path - the loser's option. why? because suicide is just about the most SELFISH thing someone can do. They leave this existence, and leave their friends and family to suffer mental hell and anguish for the rest of their lives. For the rest of their lives, their parents will think if only we had been better parents, and your friends will think were we bad friends? did we let her down when she needed us most?.... some ppl actually want other ppl to suffer anguish over their suicides - they want to be noticed. others do it, and don't care about the dozens and hundreds of hearts they hurt. selfish - that's what it is. (so, to people cutting their wrists - NO RESPECT! I'd slap that focker silly with a tuna fish for being so self-centrered!)
my idea of a solution:
DONT GET SAD, GET MAD!!
have some self-respect, girl! next time he cusses at you, dont just take that sh1t. call him out on it - face him (hopefully in front of ALL his girlfans, so that they see his double-standards).
or approach him in class - when enough of his girlfans are around, and bring up the topic directly hey - i needed to ask you something! tell me, what makes you think you have the right to be so mean to me? have i done something to insult your mighty ego? why is it that i have done nothing and you cuss at me and swear at me for no reason? do you think i'm gonna sit here and put up with it? i'm getting really fed up of your immature attitude, and i'd like you to explain why you have this animosity towards me.
i think that if you approach him in front of OTHER girls who he's nice to - then they will be interested in his answer, so they will stick around to watch what happens. so either he starts explaining himself and apologizing.... OR he starts cussing you and being mean to you (which everyone will see), and his image will crumble because everyone will see what an ugly and double-standard soul he has. (of course, expect him to not like you if you put him in a position like that).
my final say in this matter - he's a focking a*hole! he's arrogant and mean, and a flirt. if you want to pursue this matter and become his psychiatric-mutual-friend, go ahead... but if you want to respect YOURSELF .. then take some steps to confront him and TAKE CONTROL of this sh1t.
DONT BE A VICTIM, BE A SURVIVOR. don't let a*holes give you sh1t. you gotta learn how to put an end to the bullsh1t that some people bring into your life.
and lastly, good luck!
