Question:
i guess ill start at the beginning.
some background info - im a second year in college, ive had two girlfriends before, the first was a short fling type thing, the second was a one and a half year relationship, and now its been about 5 months since it ended.
so i met these two girls recently, lets call them jane and megan..
about a month ago, i went to this party and met jane, i was beyond drunk, we didnt sleep together but we almost did, i did end up giving her a lap dance... the next morning, i pieced together what happened the night before by asking friends and it turns out, jane told one of my friends that she really likes me. last week, i called jane and asked her to come hang out with me, which she did. she said she likes me because im a nice person, but she didnt act like she liked me at all, she acted like she was really bored, i dont know if you guys know what im talking about, but i tried having a conversation with her and i think shes really not on my wavelength, or there was no chemistry at all pretty much it was all small talk for 2 hours.
on a completely separate incident -
yesterday i came home on the train, there werent a lot of seats availible so i couldnt sit next to my friend, and i ended up sitting next to a girl named megan. she initiated a conversation about train ticket prices and we pretty much hit it off right away, and for the next three hours, i had one of the most amazing conversations ive ever had in my life. when i thought i ran out of things to say, she started talking again and more stuff just comes to me instantaneously, in short, it was like, linguistic sex. before she got off at her stop, i asked her if she wants to go out with me sometime, at first she thought i was being funny and then shes like, oh my god, youre serious! and im like, man i really blew it didnt i. and shes like nono its okay, do you want to exchange phone numbers? i told her that ill just add her on facebook which i did.
megan and jane both go to my college so distance is not a factor.
here are my questions -
1. jane is nice but how do i tell her that im not interested without her hating me forever? i know this is a dumb question, but i never know how to respond, and its been a long time since we first met, so technically shes been waiting all this time for me to respond.
2. i really like megan, we have good chemistry, but what do i do now? its been way too long since i asked a girl out.
3. how can i tell if i really like megan? how can i be sure that im not just rebounding from my big relationship that ended.. 5 months ago? (my ex is kinda sentimental and she always brings up memories of when we were dating, so its been kinda difficult, especially lately since its the holidays)
congrats if you read all that, thanks you guys.
Answer:
wow...that jane seems like just a fling. Megan..you seemed more interested to Megan than Jane.
1. How do you tell Jane if you're not interested? you don't tell, you just be friends. You know..don't call her all the time, just once a week or once in 2 weeks, she'll get the idea sooner or later. Since there is no commitment, i don't see why she would hate you.
2. Just ask her out, ou can start with a friendly date rather than romantic one. You wouldn't be sure if you don't spend time with her. Get to know her than just a 3 hours conversation in the train.
3. How? nobody can answer this but yourself. About the rebound thingy...i'm not sure about it too. sorry..can't help you in this area. You have the answer.
Answer:
i agree with alcocyne..
btw, just give the relationship with megan a chance.. n see how things with her goes..
Answer:
i agree with alcocyne..
btw, just give the relationship with megan a chance.. n see how things with her goes..
give it time and it will tell you.
Answer:
If you feel you don't have any chemistry with Jane? Tell her, because I feel it's better to be honest about those type of things, and continue to be friends with her.
As for your thing with Megan. I agree with the poster above on that one.
Answer:
never good to date 2 girls at a time (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
Answer:
never good to date 2 girls at a time (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sleep.gif)
that's not true. it gives you more experience in less time so that you don't mess up the next time you date another girl.
Answer:
Jane
dont act so interested to talk with her...
kinda avoid her a LIL or something..
and if she brings up the topic of possibly getting togehter..
u tell her how much u like her as a friend..
Megan.
aww.. u like her...
just take it slow with her..
if u think it mite be rebound..
in time.. if u truelly like her..
your feelingz will shine through and u wont be worrying about the rebound thing anymore
Answer:
Jane probably waited the longest time for you, but considering that she didn't take any initiatives & stayed veryyy quiet forever, i think you should just forget her. she lost her chance that's been given to her for so long! although i understand jane's a really nice girl, she just doesnt cut it, you know? besides, megan & you hit off right away. now THAT's chemistry. i'm not saying to go ask megan out now, but get to know her better. hang out with her for awhile & see how that feels.
AND during this hanging out testing period, you can also see if jane gets any ... more interesting. juggle around a little bit. you'll find it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
that's not true. it gives you more experience in less time so that you don't mess up the next time you date another girl.
ur right that it gives more experience in less time.. but is that the way u really want to earn the experience?
