Question:
for those that remember, i posted a while ago, regarding my bf and i, if you look back a little, i'm sure u can find it. We are both gay Koreans.
despite we both tried our hardest to stay away from having sex together, it just happened during this weekend. I dont know what got to us, possibly our hormones got the best of us.
I don't want to get into full details, but I will admit, it was one of the greatest feelings i've ever had. Some might be immature about it, and some might think its gross, but we are afterall two humans. For those that are curious, it did not hurt at all, my bf made sure I was ok, checking on me, asking me if I was ok through it all, I thought it was sweet of him to do that.
Now, onto business. The fact of the matter, after everything was over, we both were lying in bed, just blankly staring at the ceiling, trying to think over what we just did. I started to have tears in my eyes. I don't regret I lost my virginity to him, however it just made me realize how much I love him more, and that we both can not continue like this forever, as both of us still plan to marry. He put me in his arms to comfort me, but I still felt really guilty.
It only makes it harder, the fact that both of us are Christians, and the fact that we both commited one great sin. I know that we all sin, and I do realize we are human, and sexuality is a strong force to overcome sometimes.
please no bashing please, or immature comments,
UPDATE: 12/1/06
After much thought, and talking it over with my bf, we both mutually agreed and decided to be with each other only for the remaining 30 days of 2006, and break up and go our own paths starting January of next year. During these past couple months with him, I was happy that I could be with someone I really did love. But unfortunately, my God that I love so much, nor does majority of the society, friends, family accept this love. I'm happy to note that at least one time in my life, I was really happy. Starting next year, we both are planning to date girls, as well as follow through with marrying woman later in our future.
Thanks for everyone's comments, I have read all of them through.
Answer:
Seeing as how you're pretty firm on this issue (referring to your earlier thread), any thing coming from the likes of me will most likely upset you.
But I highly suggest you use this thread instead if you're looking for some serious answers/discussion.
index.php?sho...p;#entry4255711
Answer:
None of what I have to say is to bash you, but it's the truth. The reason you feel weird. My guess is because like you said you're a Christian. Well, I'm not going to go into, but you know what GOD said about homosexuality, and I'll leave it at that. It's sort of ironic how you 2 plan to marry, and you talk about being uncomfortable after the event. When you said you both plan to marry. Are you referring to each other? Same gender, or were you referring to marrying a girl/woman?
Answer:
lol do what you want, its your life.
Answer:
I actually read your earlier thread, but I was just too lazy to comment.
There is this saying: When you truly love someone, their background, looks, ages, ethnicity does not matter. If those does not matter, why should gender be a matter?
I think that having someone to love and having someone to love you is a beautiful thing.
And plus, to be able to be with the one you love...you should be grateful. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
I think you should go your own way and do whatever you want when it comes to this relationship. Don't let religion get in the way of love. As people are homophobic and really stupid maybe you shouldn't brag with your sexuality but I think you should be proud of who you are and of your boyfriend.
I believe in God but I don't go to church every sunday and I have no problem with people being gay and people having sex before marriage(unless they are 1-15 years old). Maybe it's stupid but I choose the parts I believe in.
Answer:
Well, I'm going to have to disagree and say what you're doing and what you did is NOT a sin. But this is based on your beliefs...so I guess it's a sin in your eyes. But do not be ashamed.
If anything, I'm extremely jealous of you. You've found someone you love so much, and he happens to love you back just as much. There are people out there who look for love and wait for it, and yet it never seems to come to them. I think it's really sweet how the two of you care about each other.
I can't say I exactly feel the pain and how hard it is for you, but hang on and keep your chin up. I'm still iffy about you and your bf eventually getting married to women...but in the end that is your decision to make, not one for us to make for you.
Good luck dear. And if you feel that some of the responses here are a bit immature...you can try posting in the 20's section as well. Heh..
Answer:
well well well..... i do not know what to say but do what you know is right. Its all good and gravy because like you said, you felt it and lvoed it. be you and you.
Answer:
yay! finally some progress in the relationship. i'm very happy for you because you gave your virginity to someone that you truly love (who also loves you back).
i don't think you should feel guilty about any of it. religion shouldn't have to come into any of this. in fact, don't christians believe that people are the way they are because God made them that way? so there is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed about! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
i don't think that you should feel guilty about it because you guys love each other that's why you guys had sex and i'm really happy for you guys (IMG:style_emoticons/default/wink.gif) .
Answer:
don't feel guilty about it (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
just because you're gay doesn't mean you can't have sex!
and you also did it with someone you really love
Answer:
yay! finally some progress in the relationship. i'm very happy for you because you gave your virginity to someone that you truly love (who also loves you back).
i don't think you should feel guilty about any of it. religion shouldn't have to come into any of this. in fact, don't christians believe that people are the way they are because God made them that way? so there is absolutely NOTHING to be ashamed about! (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Yeah that's what I was kind of thinking too, you should be greatful to god for giving you the love of your life. And for making you how you are right now. As for the religion thing, (please no one take offense to this) but I think that the homosexuality thing is outdatted. I am a Chatholic myself, and this may sound as if I'm picking and choosing what to follow from god. But homosexuality doesn't hurt anyone, and you nkow the reason it says it's bad is to make sure children are made. But what about a hetrosexual couple that doesn't want kids...
Well anyways to the point... You shouldn't feel guilty, but that is your own business and your own beliefs. But you should remember how happy he makes you feel, and refering from the last topic you made. I still believe your choice in wanting to marry a woman is wrong. If you are gay (and not bi) then it would be hurting your future wife.
You should be happy with what you have, people would want to be in the same situation as you. To be in love with someone they can be true to.
Answer:
you shouldn't feel guilty. and i definately don't think you should marry a girl if you're in love with this guy. you're a christian, i'm a christian. i know another girl who's homsexual and she's a christian. i think God says: homosexuality is not allowed, but he does forgive all sins, therefore he should forgive yours.
it's fine. good luck to you. and besides gender is just another factor of a person just like race and age is. it shouldn't determine who you love.
Answer:
None of what I have to say is to bash you, but it's the truth. The reason you feel weird. My guess is because like you said you're a Christian. Well, I'm not going to go into, but you know what GOD said about homosexuality, and I'll leave it at that. It's sort of ironic how your mate has plans to marry you, he put you in his arms, and you felt guilty. Why do you feel guilty?
his boyfriend never said he wanted to marry him. they both plan to get married in the future, obviously NOT with each other.
gay marriage is illegal, remember?
to the original post:
although i myself am straight i think you have every right to love him regardless of the gender.
you're a Christian, so you know Jesus said love everyone but loving the same sex is considered a sin.. see the irony?
i don't think sex between two loving people is gross at all. homosexual or not, it should be seen as something beautiful.
if you really do love him you shouldn't feel guilty.
do what makes you the happiest, who knows, gay marriage might be legal in the future.
or change the religion and move to sanfrancisco. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/biggrin.gif)
Answer:
i know how u feel....
i have a close friend of mine, woh told me all her secrets
she was the most christian person in the world... she prayed everynightl, followed the bible word for word... she went to CHURCH, and didn't miss a single day at church
boy, she was devoted. she came from a family devoted severely to god
but she never liked boys... she was so confused all up until junior year. she was alsways so miserable, talked to me about how miserable she was becavuse she couldnt find a boy that she liked.
but when day, she started crushing on this beautiful lesbian, with a shaved head, and a pretty diamond nose pericing at our school. her voice was smooth like honey, and whenver she spoke, you just wanted to listen to her all day long. her hips were big and womanly, and her breasts were ample like that of a real woman's. she was divine womanhood.
they were friends for all of junior year. but in secret, they were really more than friends. they flirted all the time. then a year after they first met, they had homosexual sex.
she felt so guilty. she cried for days, and she told me everything. she told me that the sex felt so right and she coulnd't see herself in the arms of another boy. so i told her to fess up... that she needed to tell her parent sabout it. she needed to tell her parents that her friendship with her friend was more than platonic.,
so she did. and her parents were outraged. they locked her in her room for a week, feeding her only potatoes everyday. they didn't let her go to school because that's where her lesiban lover was.
when she was finally let out of her bedroom, she told them that she wanted to change....for god.
she went back to school, but she felt the same urges as before. her parents felt that she was still weird but they didn't lock her in her room anymore. they didn't want her grades to slack. instead, they made her read the bible for 3 hours before going to bed each night. she also had to spend all saturday and sunday memorizing verses. afterschool, her mom watched her. the only thing she could do was her homework. and then she had to help with her housework.
she also had to submit to drinking water....she had to drink at least 20 cups of water a day. her parents said to keep drinking water, to drink DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK the water until the damnation, the homosexuality has metaphorically been flushed out.
susie was so miserable. at school, during lunch, she'd just tell us her miserable stories while bawling. it was so sad to see it.
she was still harboring homosexual feelings, so her parnets hired a specialist to repair her mind. she spent friday afternoons being under the profesional care of this repairman. he'd ask her qiuestions about her homosexuality and try to FIX it.
but after 8 months, he still couldn't fix it. so her parents gave up on her. her parents kicked her out of hte house when she turned 18 years old, basically disowning her. she lived with me for two months while she found a job and a place to live. it's the saddest story in the world.....
*siiugh* that whole situation was so messed up. because of this, i just think its so WRONG TO LET RELIGION GET IN THE WAY OF LOVE.
by telling you this story, i just wanted to say that if you're homosexual, thne you're homosexual. so what if you can't change it? (who says its possible anyway?) BE YOU. BE YOURSELF. don't let anyone change that... not even God. if god causes this much suffering for homosexuality then he's doing something wrong.
Answer:
you shouldn't feel guilty. and you didn't have sex. you made love. rofl. (==;;) i feel so cheesy, but i think it's true.
one of god's greatest lesson is to love. love your neighbours. love your brothers and sisters of the difference races. love the people of different sexualities. you shouldn't feel ashamed or guilty to love. remember that.
Answer:
i just have to say..
whoa.
Answer:
i know how u feel....
i have a close friend of mine, woh told me all her secrets
she was the most christian person in the world... she prayed everynightl, followed the bible word for word... she went to CHURCH, and didn't miss a single day at church
boy, she was devoted. she came from a family devoted severely to god
but she never liked boys... she was so confused all up until junior year. she was alsways so miserable, talked to me about how miserable she was becavuse she couldnt find a boy that she liked.
but when day, she started crushing on this beautiful lesbian, with a shaved head, and a pretty diamond nose pericing at our school. her voice was smooth like honey, and whenver she spoke, you just wanted to listen to her all day long. her hips were big and womanly, and her breasts were ample like that of a real woman's. she was divine womanhood.
they were friends for all of junior year. but in secret, they were really more than friends. they flirted all the time. then a year after they first met, they had homosexual sex.
she felt so guilty. she cried for days, and she told me everything. she told me that the sex felt so right and she coulnd't see herself in the arms of another boy. so i told her to fess up... that she needed to tell her parent sabout it. she needed to tell her parents that her friendship with her friend was more than platonic.,
so she did. and her parents were outraged. they locked her in her room for a week, feeding her only potatoes everyday. they didn't let her go to school because that's where her lesiban lover was.
when she was finally let out of her bedroom, she told them that she wanted to change....for god.
she went back to school, but she felt the same urges as before. her parents felt that she was still weird but they didn't lock her in her room anymore. they didn't want her grades to slack. instead, they made her read the bible for 3 hours before going to bed each night. she also had to spend all saturday and sunday memorizing verses. afterschool, her mom watched her. the only thing she could do was her homework. and then she had to help with her housework.
she also had to submit to drinking water....she had to drink at least 20 cups of water a day. her parents said to keep drinking water, to drink DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK DRINK the water until the damnation, the homosexuality has metaphorically been flushed out.
susie was so miserable. at school, during lunch, she'd just tell us her miserable stories while bawling. it was so sad to see it.
she was still harboring homosexual feelings, so her parnets hired a specialist to repair her mind. she spent friday afternoons being under the profesional care of this repairman. he'd ask her qiuestions about her homosexuality and try to FIX it.
but after 8 months, he still couldn't fix it. so her parents gave up on her. her parents kicked her out of hte house when she turned 18 years old, basically disowning her. she lived with me for two months while she found a job and a place to live. it's the saddest story in the world.....
*siiugh* that whole situation was so messed up. because of this, i just think its so WRONG TO LET RELIGION GET IN THE WAY OF LOVE.
by telling you this story, i just wanted to say that if you're homosexual, thne you're homosexual. so what if you can't change it? (who says its possible anyway?) BE YOU. BE YOURSELF. don't let anyone change that... not even God. if god causes this much suffering for homosexuality then he's doing something wrong.
Is that child abuse for locking your kid in her room and only feeding her potatoes.... lol
Anyways I just wanted to add something to what I said before, I was going to edit but when I saw this I had to add that thing too lol..... My god though... those are some really *cough* diehard parents.... Repairman........ Wow.... 3 hours of Bible reading... No school..... Man that's kind of (actually really) messed up.... 20 drinks of water...... Wow that's really messed up.... Shoo Satan, we will make her pee you out?? Was that thier logic.... Sigh... Well your friend tell her I feel sorry for her....
Ok on to my point instead of me just kind of spamming. This is an honest suggestion, I know it may kind of sound stupid. But if you are that devoted to God and are not attracted to women. Why not become a preist? I mean if you really want to abstain for having gay sex, then why not become a preist. That gives you more motivation to abstain, devoted to god, and you don't have to marry. Though I realize preisthood is not nessicarily the way for everyone, but it's my honest suggestion.
Answer:
honestly, i feel so awwed by your story :] you`ve found love, most people would die to have what you have. people always make this mistake, to let go of something that makes you truly happy. if he`s what makes you happy, then please don`t do this to yourself, to let go of what makes you happy in life. i think you and him can make it together if yah both just beleive yah can.
fate brang you guys together for a reason.
Answer:
Why do you feel guilty? Is it because you two are both men that made you feel guilty?
I dont think you should feel guilty at all about it, I mean, as someone here said earlier-
you and your bf made love. you guys werent just mindlessly screwing each other like rabbits,
both of you love each other. you even said that he asked if you were okay- he was being
careful and he loves you. you love him. nothing to be guilty about.
It may be because that you two are Christian- but if you love someone, and actually
went through with it, religion or even gender should be a problem.
I really do hope for the best for you two3
