Question:
(you can actually skip this part and go down to the questions this is just like my answer to my questions, and something to just take into consideration i guess if you understand it =] )
so i've been doing a lot of thinking about marrige kinda thing
ok, so i was talking to a guyfriend and i said that when i get married i want to pay for my clothes, and like childrens clothes, groceries, house decorating stuff, etc, i dont want to say like... kayy, honey i'm gonna get this and that i'm taking the credit card i dont know i guess i'm just like that...
but he said thats so messed up if i was the guy... i'm like the provider like i just want you to be the good wife thats all i ask, and i'll provide the money and everything else
i asked my mom and she said God created the man to be the head of the household and bring home money... but in this society its hard for you to have a great living out of just one parent working
but like that got onto the issue of how like women have kids... why do girls work so hard? to get into the great college and the great job... when ... all our dreams... are most definitely gonna have to be given up when we have kids
so many wives gave up their job that they worked for and their dreams when they have children
well i asked my pastor and he said to strive for the best, aim high, and pursue your dreams, to just get married and have children, thats just so ... regular, errh yea, like you have to do what you gotta do, but he said its almost guaranteed when we have a child the wife have to give up her job
sorry its confusing but heres the main question for you guys, i guess ^ that was kinda my answer
Questions (you dont have to answer all of them)
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
guys are you pressured at all that youre burdened with the fact that you have to uphold your family(especially financially)
[or do you just not care about it right now haha]
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns?
-I would to have my own job and my husband has his own too, but my husband would have to work more than me, I would have more days off to take care of the kids
my only concern is who's going to take care of the kids (but then there's the daycare (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif) )
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
-I don't think it's offensive, I can't wait to do the cooking (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
well, i believe that in a marriage, its a 50/50 give and take kind of thing. both husband and wife needs to contribute to make a good home for their future n kids if they decide to have any. I agree with ur guyfriend. I just want my future wife to be the best wife she can be and thats all i could ever ask of her. I would work my butt off just so that I can afford the lifestyle that she and I deserve. But we now live in a world where women are rising up in the business environment. If my future wife wants to go to work and spend her on money on things then ill support her every decision. that means i just have more money to spend on her (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns?
i talked about this with my bf (which hopefully be my husband).. I want both of us to work and not have kids for like a year.. then if in that time we have kids, i have my parents who LOVE kids and want grandchildren to be around them.. so i want both of us to provide the money.. i actually want to be both a business woman and mother/housewives.. ^^
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff
i don't find it offensive.. i am looking forward to it.. ^^
Answer:
i actually believe that the wife has a duty of making the man happy. i cant really explain. i dont mean that we should wait on them hand and foot, but we should cater to them? does that make sense? i just feel like we should treat them right. sorry i cant really explain things. they should also in return treat us right too. but maybe us a little more... haha. im gonna stop before i mess everything up. lol.
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
I want it to be the best 50 years of my life... duh!
guys are you pressured at all that youre burdened with the fact that you have to uphold your family(especially financially)
Not at all, but part of that comes from being the first born son. I already have to provide... BUT, I don't feel burdened by it at all and am sort of looking forward to when I can provide and my family is taken care of. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/smile.gif)
Answer:
I'm just scared that I might not find someone to marry. =(
Answer:
Q: How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns?
A: If I get married, I don't mind that my wife have a professional career. If she's happy with that, I'm fine with it too. Anyway, I'm a career guy too lol
Q: guys are you pressured at all that youre burdened with the fact that you have to uphold your family(especially financially)
A: No, not at all. Well I have both my mother & father to take care of. Having additional member to the family wouldn't burden that much.
Answer:
first of all, im a guy
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
well, i think that we both should work. when we have kids, i wouldn't mind taking some time off after she's taken some time off. i think its important for the mother to spend time with the child for the first six months at least. i reckon she should take a yr off though!!
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
im not a girl but i'll still answer this q. alot of guys can cook too so girls, u shouldn't feel pressured. actually, all my friends always call me 'Bree Van De Kamp' from 'Desperate Housewives' cos they reckon im so housewifey!
guys are you pressured at all that youre burdened with the fact that you have to uphold your family(especially financially)[or do you just not care about it right now haha]
well ive never thought about it. cos i always expected the girl to have some financial input to it too. i dont feel pressured. i mean, traditionally, it was men work and ladies stay home the whole time. this has only changed in the past century. so i feel fortunate enough.
Answer:
Talked it over with my fiance way before we're engaged.
just like you, i don't think i can be a full-time mother and a housewife.
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
So when we're married, we agreed on me working from home (i'm a designer and i kinda have my own office, so..no problem with that) so that when we eventually have kids, their mom would be there to keep an eye on them.
We agreed on the money i earn would be for me to splurge on whatever i wanna buy for whoever. And he would be responsible for the household expenses etc.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
I don't find it offensive...really with a lot going on with the world,i think children needs more and more attention and lessons to learn from their parents
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
I want to take care of a lot of house stuff while my husband is working. I will work if we really need the income source of another person, but I'd prefer not to work and just focus on raising the children.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
I can't wait to be a housewife. It's like my true dream, to be a wife and mother, above any other dream in terms of occupation and such. I know for a fact that I won't be forced to take care of everything at home and there will be help from my husband. It just seems more balanced and I'm not really for going for all of my dreams and desires before I get married and push off marriage and children until I'm of age when it'll be way too hard to actually carry through with those plans. Your dreams and desires are still there even after you have children, after they're grown up you have the rest of your life anyway.
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
I want to fulfill my dream of becoming an orthodontist first. I estimated that I will be 27-28 when I become certified. Then I want to get married and work for 7 years. I want to have a child when I am 35 years old. I only want one child, and I will take off work for 2 years, then work part time after. I think raising the child right is one of the most important things in life.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
Yea I do find it offensive. And i hate doing housework too. But i do love making yummy food. I hope to have a dishwasher in the future, b/c I hate doing dishes. My bf says that he knows I would make a bad housewife.
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
First of all, I think there should be three savings accounts: mine, my husband's, and one we share together for expenses like food, bills, our children...etc... Secondly, I'm really concerned about how to raise my children. Kids these days are already off the walls. How will they be in twenty years? Third, I'm scared I won't find the right man, and get divorced and that it'll hurt the kids. But at the same time, I wouldn't want to stay with a man when the spark is gone, or if it was never there to begin with. I'm such a bitter cynic. (IMG:style_emoticons/default/sad.gif) I know I want to get married, but I see so many unhappy couples who stay together just because they feel obligated, and the other couples are divorced.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
ABSOLUTELY! I plan to have a career of my own. I'm not going to just stay around in the house wearing a pretty apron and making my husband pot roast and whatever else. We can and we SHOULD share house chores
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
I want each of us to put in our best effort- emotionally and financially. and in doing the housework and taking care of the kids. ideally, it would be around 50-50. Concerns would be that the husband wouldn't understand how much work it takes to take care of kids and housework and would take no part in the housework.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
YES. I do find it offensive when people assume that being a good housewife should be my ONLY goal/dream/career. If a person wants to only be a housewife when she grows up because it is her dream, then I commend her because it isn't an easy job to take on 100% of the domestic work. But I will not commend a person who is a housewife only because she felt it is the only thing she is capable of or because she is under pressure from husband/family. Or a person who is a housewife but looks down on working women.
i want to be a good housewife (who wouldn't?), but I also want to be other things too- WORKING-even if it's part time. I also don't want to burden my husband with making him the sole breadwinner. And if my husband loves me, he wouldn't burden me with all the chores. We will work on every aspect of maintaining our relationship, making a living, and raising our kids together.
and if you want to be a housewife, going to college is NOT a waste. We go to college to broaden ourselves intellectually and emotionally. Some people apply the college education to getting a job. Others can apply it to the way they raise/teach their kids, etc
as for your guyfriend, it's easy for someone who isn't working full-time, paying rent and insurance etc... to say that he would provide everything. Sadly, not every person who gets out of college and wants a job ends up getting a really good job that would enable him/her to take on the whole financial burden of kids.
Answer:
um..i actually think about this a lot...
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
-Umm..i wanna be a working mom but also wanna take some days off and spend time with my kids..so i'd rather my husband to work most of the time..i guess..
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
-yea..i really do. i mean, we're not here just to cook and look out for our husbands...they have hands. that's why i wanna marry a cooking guy..it'll be fun cooking together, you know? the cleaning..i'd rather i do it..because i dislike it when other people clean because sometimes they'll miss something on a plate washing dishes...or miss a bunch of dust on the ground while vacuuming..it'll just bother me..so yeah..
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
- If my husband prefers me to be at home because that's what he's used to (we'll have to work that out before the marriage)
- Whether or not to continue working
- Religious stuff (I'm not and if he is)
- Blending of cultures (if he's from a different cultural background)
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff
- Actually, I don't mind it but I don't believe that I'm supposed to do the cooking and cleaning. I don't mind cooking because I like to, but if he could wash the dishes and help clean the house, then I don't see any problems with that role. I'd also like him to cook once a week, at least. Give me a break.
Also, my husband should not expect 30 minute meals and his food ready by 6 pm. It's not going to happen. I don't know how to make it happen, honestly. Anything I cook takes 1-3 hours to make just like my mother ^^; (but hey, it's flavorful!)
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns?
I'm going to be working and supporting myself before i get married, after I get married nothing is going to change except that two people are going to be working.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
Yes I do, I don't want to be stuck at home all day to cook, clean and take care of the kids. I'm very stubborn and independent, why can't the job be split between the husband and wife.
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
uhmm... i think we both should work..
and when the time comes for kids..
i'll jsut some time off...
when they kid is big enough.. i
i find a babysitter.. and go back to my careeer..
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
hehee...
i actually allways wanted to be just a housewife...
but being a housewife is kinda boring...
i rather work and get to hang out with colleageues and stuff..
Answer:
How do you guys want it to be when you get married, what are your concerns? (to both guys and girls)
concerns are in the financial area. I want to be a fashion/graphic design my bf is going into business but nothing is guarenteed. I want us to live comfortably without having to worry everytime the bill comes.
girls do you find it offensive when youre supposed to be just a good house wife cooking and stuff (i actually can't wait to just be a housewife lol)
not really, i do like to cook. But i also want to work. At least in the first part of our marriage
guys are you pressured at all that youre burdened with the fact that you have to uphold your family(especially financially)
i am not applicable LOL
Answer:
1.) i want it to be at a CHURCH and no where else.
and my concern is gettin pregnant lmao (IMG:style_emoticons/default/tongue.gif)
2.) YES I DO (IMG:style_emoticons/default/ohmy.gif) I CAN DO N E THIN HE CAN DO AND BETTER! ;x
